How do I handle my mother who no longer recognizes my father and refuses to stay with him?

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My mother has recently began showing signs of dementia, and they seem to be progressing very quickly now. She no longer recognizes my father. She knows his name and that he is her husband, but she believes something has happened to him, and that the man that is now in her home is not her husband, and she is very uncomfortable staying with him. She feels he is going to hurt her. She is calling family member and friends asking them for help and to come get her, and she is wandering off to neighbors homes begging them to let her stay with them. I don't know how to handle this. And worse, she is currently caring for a grandchild that my sister has abandoned. We have all tried to take the toddler so that we could care for him, but she becomes combative when we try to even suggest it. She takes him with her when she wanders off. I just don't know how to handle this, she is so scared she is losing her independence and claims we are all turning on her.

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I am MORE concerned about your nephew than I am about your mother. Can you or one of your brother's adopt him? He needs to be removed from your mother's care NOW!

Regarding your Mom, who has Power of Attorney? You may need to call adult protective services. Is your family able to pay for her to go into an assisted living facility?
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Sorry, I'm so rattled by this I forgot to say the obvious. You need to get the child away RIGHT NOW. Then YOU NEED TO GET YOUR MOM EVALUATED EVEN IF IT'S AGAINST HER WILL. She may need to be medicated for a while (or longer) to get her over the hump, to calm down before she harms herself.
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correction ... you HAVE to do what you have to do...
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This is the worst possible case. Are you kidding here? The child needs to be removed IMMEDIATELY. Most states have a 72 (approx - varies) psych hold for people who are a danger to themselves. And your mother is a danger to the child as well. You could you subterfuge, picking the right hospital for her (with psych services), have her go with you to take the child in for some non specific complaint and remove the child in front of the professionals. If your mom flips out as you seem to think she would like, the pros will know what to do.

You I know when you phone at doctors office these days and get their answering machine what you hear is, "lf this is a life threatening emergency, please hang up and call 911."

You how to do what you have to do for everyone's safety!! And you have to do it right now regardless of the way it makes your mother's feel.
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The toddler in is real danger and that should be "everyone's" first concern. I would contact APS and CPS immediately!
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Continuation...I don't live in the same state, but my brothers do. I have offered to let her come live with me, but she doesn't want to.
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