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frustrated3 Asked May 2013

I take Mom to the doctors and she won't heed their medication advice! I'm wasting my time? What the heck do you do?

I make sure she has doctors' appointments and pay attention to what is needed for her care, and what happens? When we get home, she refuses to take the medication that, 1) we spent time at the doctors to visit and get advice; 2) we obtained a prescription;) 3) I went to get the prescription which costs money and time; 4) to bring it home for her to refuse it! I've invested lots of time and energy and money for NADA! Urgh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jinx4740 Jun 2013
My father was anti-drug. I would tell him, "It won't keep you alive longer. I promise. It will just make you feel better so you won't be such a pain in the a$$ to me." Then he would laugh. He did refuse to take antidepressants, but gladly accepted pain pills.

ChristinaW May 2013
One thing for sure, she's passive aggressive. One of my pet peeves:)
Yea, rat her out. You be the good cop and let Doc be the bad cop.
Wow. She sounds tough. Heehee!

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igloo572 May 2013
Frus - Do you think all this is that she is just stubborn or feels she knows better OR could it be that she just doesn't have the cognitive ability to understand and process what is being asked of her and how it will help her?

If she in the past was pretty logical about following directions, then I'd do whatever to get her evaluated by a gerontologist to see where she is on the cognitive abilities. You really need to see a gerontologist who has the training and staff trained to do the testing NOT their old family medicine guy or internal medicine one. It's like taking a child to a pediatrician or a children's hospital for care rather than an internal medicine guy. Gerontologists are for the elderly what pediatricians are for the young. Good luck.

royboy May 2013
LOL...sounds like my father also... his primary care docter has been seeing him for years and I bring it up all the time that he picks and chooses what he takes and he laughs it off, like its a joke ....I feel for you

palmtrees1 May 2013
Excuse my last sentence. I think I may need meds myself!!!

palmtrees1 May 2013
Wow, this is my mom exactly. She is 82 and pretty healthy. Has high cholesterol and will not take meds (her cholesterol was 400+ when first discovered in her early 50's), so far she has had no problems with it. She has arthritis, complains constantly about pain here and there, no meds. Has nocturnal leg cramps, no meds. Just whine, whine and more whine. Always tired, well you get the picture.

My mother even says she wants my brother to call her everyday to see if she is still alive. I suggest a Life Alert. No way. Brother doesn't call. She is all indignant about it.

I realize with mom it is an attention seeking behavior. I just ignore it. If she dies, she dies. You know what they say about the horse, you can lead it to water but you can't make if drink.

If I had have been have this much trouble as a kid, she would have given me away. :D

TardisTT40 May 2013
This sounds exactly like my mother. She gets online and searches out the side effects, then refuses to take *anything*. My brother and I have both tried to get her to take some of her meds but the ONLY thing she will take is her insulin, and even that she only takes in half doses, then wonders why she always feels completely miserable.
Ratting her out did nothing for me. She admits it to her Dr and says she isn't going to take anything that "might make things worse", nvm if they may actually make things better...

What I've started doing is waiting a day or two to fill any RX we get. I'll flat out ask mom if she is going to take it or is it going to just get stuck in the box under her bed. If she says she'll try it, I'll get it (she rarely actually does tho) but if she says she won't take whatever it is (I could list dozens in this, everything from pain medication to blood pressure pills to arthritis meds.) I won't fill the RX, and I'll go on and call her Dr to let her know that she is not going to take it.

It isn't the optimal solution, I know. But what it comes down to is that you can't force them to take the medication, and some things are just not worth fighting over at this stage in their life. Not taking the medications will have consequences. All you can do is make sure SHE understands that.

NancyH May 2013
I'd rat her out to the doctor next time you go. I'd tell he/she in FRONT of your mother, that when mom gets home she refuses to take the medication. I'd let the doctor be the one that tells her off. If it means embarrassing mom in front of the doctor, then so be it. Could be she has to have someone in authority insist she take the meds, or reap the consequences of not taking them that will get her attention. You decide what's going to push her buttons best.

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