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Okietired Asked January 2013

Advice on how to tell a parent it's time for a care facility?

My fathers legs are shot from neuropathy.Along with arthritis in his neck and back, he cannot stand up by himself anymore. Still trying to use his walker has led to several falls. None too bad.... yet. I have been caring for him in his home for the last 5 years. He was very resistant to bringing anyone in, he just wanted to be left alone. It took much convincing to get him to try a scooter chair, as well as bring in outside help. I've given him his privacy at home for as long as I can. It's become too much for me to handle. He relies on me heavily. When I have people sit with him, he feels like he has to entertain them. Does'nt want to bother them with his problems. That's how he is. Sharp as a tack upstairs, but his body has given out on him. I don't know how to tell him that I can't handle this anymore and keep my job or sanity for that matter. He doesn't want anything to do with a care facility. Even though deep down, I think he knows that's where this is headed. I know that when I bring it up he's going to NOT like the idea. And it's going to shred my heart to have to push it on him. I have friends who have been thru this, but in every case, the parent decided on their own that it was time to go. So, if someone could direct me to a thread that covers this topic or has any advice of their own, I'm all ears.

Thanx for listening.

littletonway Jan 2013
I would suggest you ask his doctor to talk with him. I know it is a difficult decision but what will happen to him when you are truly no longer able to handle the caregiving? Your responsibility is to see that your Dad is safe, well cared for and as comfortable as possible; however, NOT at the expense of your health and wellbeing.

We have the same situation with my Mother. I know how difficult it is for our family. I wish you well!

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