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jonnuss Asked December 2012

Can my brother be blocked from visiting my mother who lives at my other brother's house?

so my mom, dad and i live with my 30 yo brother. he only pays the rent of his house, he has a wife and two kids. my mom is the main caregiver for my father and for her, her family has always been first. i also help my mother ALOT because no one else does. recently STUPID family problems mosly because of my brothers wife. there have been discussions. my brother told my other brothher the ssupposely " bad brother" that he cant come to visit his mother. he needs to take us out to dinner in order to see us. is that legal or something. again, my mother is the one who is taking care of my 76 yo dad, she doesnt get paid and never gets help from any other of my brothers and half brothers. she only gets help from the "bad brrother". i dont think this is about mom. i think this is mostly about my brothers haterness, because he doesnt even care if mom is sick or not. so why cant she see her son????? sorry if its too long and misspelled.

jonnuss Dec 2012
i just think about my mother. she is like the best mother ever in this world. shes getting hurt. because everything comes to her. no one cares about it. and no one helps. as long as my dads okay, they dont care about her.

jonnuss Dec 2012
also my brother says that since i dont pay rent here, i have no right to talk at all. so thats why im just keeping everything in and be careful nothing slips out of my mouth. im 17 and i think he just cant tell me when to talk and when to stay shut. its not only us. he always wants to govern everyones lives. hes just so stupid, sometimes instead of taking the time to get mad, i just take that time to laugh at them.

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jonnuss Dec 2012
we live there because my brother brought us from california because he wanted my dad to live better. he actually told my mom (convinced her to come) that here she would be close to my other brother the bad one. he used that to get her to come. she doesnt want to live dad alone. if it was her decition or my dad wasnt here. she would be in her sweet home in mexico. i have like 8 other sibling that can help my dad get an apartament, but seems like noone wants to help.. and noone wants him to leave to mexico, because he will "die there". they just dont want to help. plus my dad desnt support my mom. as long as hes happy, he will stay here. hes also selfish. i wonder if my good brother can do something legal, because they have no right to choose or govern in my marenst life. we never complaing, and everything we see that we dont like, we just stay shut to make no trouble. but them just a little thing they see. its like the end of the world. sorry its long again. thank you for listening

jeannegibbs Dec 2012
Can you, your mother, and your father move out? Why are you all living together?

jonnuss Dec 2012
there wont be no talking about it. yes the 30 yr old is banning the bad brother which is the best brother ever. hes 25 . since they were kids. the older one has been yealous of the 25one. all the problems at the house are caused by my brothers wife and he knows it, but he has some "hate" because my mother was very strict when we were kids. i am very thankful my mom was very hard on us, i have learned how to be independent and i learned how to love my parents and to know who is really who. so my 30 yo bro is very selfish and always loved my dad, but still he will not trust my mom because of his rancor. he either believes his wife or other people, but never tries to fid aout the truth. so there wont be any talking. by the way tankyou for your info and support. :)

jeannegibbs Dec 2012
Is it your 30 yo brother, the one who pays for the housing, who wants to ban the "bad brother"?

Yes, I suppose the one who pays the rent can say who can and can't come into the house. But how unfortunate! I don't know what the conflict is between the two brothers or whether banning the "bad brother" is justified (hard to believe it is), but all of this is very unfair to your parents and to you.

I hope some reconciliation occurs and things get back to more normal family relationships.

Meanwhile, can you and Mom and Dad visit "bad brother" at his house or apartment? Going out to eat sometimes sounds nice. Or just for ice cream. Visiting a zoo or botanical conservatory is another way you can get together.

Again, I hope the animosity will settle down. Perhaps you can talk to the brother you live with in a nonjudgmental non-accusatory way and ask him to be forgiving for Mom and Dad's sake. Until then, make sure the Mom has a way to see her other son often.

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