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My mother is an introvert - she has no friends and make no attempt to make any. This puts all of the pressure of a social life on me & my husband. she wants to go everywhere with us and be part of everything we do at home. If i want to have a private conversation with anyone about anything i have to do it in my bedroom. I'm afraid that if i try to address this, she will be hurt and resort to staying in her room all the time.

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You're got a difficult situation that is, unfortunately, common under your circumstances. Your mother feels comfortable, which is a good thing. But she hasn't learned about boundaries. I'm afraid you'll have to risk upsetting her by telling her that you and your husband need time alone sometimes - couple time. Let her know you love her and value her company, but you need "date nights" and also to be able to have a conversation together without others. That part will be difficult. Only by being open - loving, but open - will things change. Not putting any blame on her is essential. Stay loving and kind, but explain your needs. I hope you are able to make some progress.
Take care,
Carol
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