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C
cecile2136 Asked August 2012

Why do old men take liberties with young female aides, and then vigorously deny when confronted?

the patient in his -90;s grabs their breasts, kisses them, or asks to be kissed..

EXPERT Carol Bradley Bursack, CDSGF Aug 2012
This is very common behavior and most aides are trained to deal with it. As the cognitive ability of their brains deteriorate, their inhibitions also decline. They may forget that certain behavior is inappropriate or they may mistake the woman for their wife. They may be cognitively in their 20s or younger and just "grab" without restraint.
When short-term memory is damaged they likely don't remember doing what they are confronted with, or they may not understand what they did wrong. It's unfortunate when this is an issue, but their hormones are still working while their brains are damaged.
I've heard from very hurt family members who have had these problems. One man had been very close to his daughter-in-law (appropriately). After dementia, he was behaving inappropriately to her which was, of course, very hard to handle. The family knows this behavior is the disease, but that doesn't take away the problem.
The best you can do is talk with the aides. They may be able to reassure you that what is happening is not unusual and that they are trained to handle it.
Take care,
Carol

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