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Loyalty Asked August 2012

What to do with mom?

As some of you know my 95 yr. old mom is living with me (I am 72). She is bedridden. She defecates quite often and then smears it around, eats laying down and makes a mess. I can longer pick her up to change her bed, things are getting really tough on me and it's hard to call someone at a moments notice. The decision, my sister has offered to take her rather then putting her in a nursing home. Her problem, does not have the room, has a son that needs 24/7 and last year fought a battle with cancer, It's killing me to keep mom but killing me to think of sending her away and putting this on sis. Any input appreciated. Thank you, Loyalty

jeannegibbs Aug 2012
It is time to place Mother's care in the hands of professionals.

meohmy Aug 2012
Does she have dementia or Alzheimer's? Also what is the reason for not wanting a nursing home? I understand how stressful this has become for you as I have my 90 yr old mother living with me. I feel lucky that she can still use the bathroom or commode with very little assistance from me. Recently she has compressed disks that are quite painful and I have to help her get out of bed at night to use her commode. The reason my sisters and I don't want to put our Mother in a nursing home is because we feel she would not remember to use the call button and would end up lying there for hours without help or try to get put of bed on her own, fall and break something, end up in hospital where they would over medicate her for pain and she would get pneumonia and die. I'm not saying that nursing home staff are not capable, just sometimes have too many patients and can't get to all of them often enough. There should be an Area Agency on Aging that could offer some advice or help with your situation. Hugs to you and look up that phone number for AAA and call.

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