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garthurs Asked July 2012

My wife's mother is often mean and hurtful ... even remaining silent can still lead to receiving greater insults. Any experience with that?

garthurs Jul 2012
glad to answers more questions ... it is good to exchange ideas .... she has always been a "pistol" (her personality) but I would say aging, health issues have intensified it. No official diagnosis of "dementia", rather "age related memory loss" (short term memory can be pretty hit or miss), explaining things multiple times. She is in a skilled nursing facility because she has about six major health issues from stage-3 kidney disease to congestive heart failure. The last year we attempted to keep her in our home, she was in the hospital 11 times with most of her time in the hospital. She has chronic pain, was on heavy pain killers, but the bigger issue is her "drug seeking" tendencies, history of alcoholism too.

jeannegibbs Jul 2012
Has MIL always been like this, or is it new/recent behavior?

What are MIL's impairments? (Why is she in a nursing home?)

Has she been diagnosed with dementia? Do you suspect she has it?

Is the hurtful behvior directed at particular people, or is it pretty general at everyone?

I'm sorry to answer your question with questions, but more details will get you more helpful input.

Believe me, MANY people have experience with hurtful behavior from elders, so getting a clearer picture of the situation should result in helpful suggestions, or at least commisseration.

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