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shelkaya Asked August 2010

My mother refuses to go to the doctor because she doesn't want people to see how she looks. Is this a sign of Alzheimer's?

elaine826 Aug 2010
Would be glad to see answer to this question. My mom also has "image" problems - worries about what others will think when she got new glasses (wouldn't wear them for a while), neighbors seeing me do her banking, etc. She's a very plain mom, always clean dresser but not fashionable - she never cared about these things till about 6 months ago. Occupational therapist told me that when they realize they are losing control over what they can do, they worry about how they look & are seen by community. Stated that this was early signs of dementia; however my mother is 88 and has no signs of dementia. Psychiatrist stated she has great long & short term memory, but only problem is she is trying to control me - her daughter. Interested to hear what others have experienced.

IsabelCares Aug 2010
Sorry, that was meant to be garden.

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IsabelCares Aug 2010
Wow, that sure is hard on her, and you, shelkaya. Maybe let her know that a doctor can help her food compulsion a lot faster than anything you may do will help her to get the medical evaluation she needs? Also tell her that you will do her makeup, help her choose a cute outfit and get her hair styled for the appointment to ensure that she looks her striking best. Maybe treat her to a joint manicure at a salon if you can both afford it? It may help to make her feel special and greater confidence in going out. Maybe take a picture for her of before and after her makeover to have her keep as her visual incentive? Underneath the symptoms you have explained, she may be more than a little depressed. Whatever yu can do to keep her engaged in life and living may be of help in the short run. In-home maybe an end of summer project or graden spot?

shelkaya Aug 2010
thanks for your comments.
My mom has always cared a great deal about her appearance and took great pleasure in people commenting on how she didn't look her age. It's been only in the last few months that she stopped going out of the house, stopped getting her hair done, and canceled all her doctors appointments. When i ask her why she won't go to the doctor, she says she doesn't want people who know her to see her like this. By this she means the receptionist and nurses. Another serious problem is her inability to stop herself from eating until she gets sick. She told me to help her because she can't control herself. So i have begun to take all the food away after i think she has taken enough. She appears to know she is rapidly going downhill - by refusing to the doctor, she hopes to die sooner.

anonymous11306 Aug 2010
sounds like paranoia or social anxiety to me

toadballet1 Aug 2010
My mother has become very self-conscious about going anywhere. She says, "everyone stares at me." She will go to the doc, but no where else really.
If you suspect Alzheimer's please find someone who is qualified to diagnose it. My Mom had a severe reaction to a pain medication and "alzheimer's" was the first thing to roll off their tongue. Anyone who is of a certain age, has grey hair, and may be a little forgetful now has alz. It is frightening because a misdiagnoses has such a far reaching impact. So proceed with caution.

IsabelCares Aug 2010
Does she go out otherwise, or is she staying at home all the time for the same reason? What does she most dislike about her appearance? Only a doctor can diagnose a medical condition like Alzheimer's, though.

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