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After reading these posts, I feel I am just getting started with this and I need some help. I just got back from visiting my mom when the phone rang. It was my mother and she was accusing me of taking her anniversary and birthday cards that she has saved plus a special picture of her Dad. I told her I would never ever take anything from her unless I ask or she gave it to me. She told me I had better return them or see to it that the one who took them returned them real quick. Again I stated I didn't really know exactly what or where these cards and special picture was kept. This is not the first time but it is the first time she out and out accused me. It was always "someone" came in and stole this or that while we were out shopping or at the doctors. I am worried and I need to know where I go from here. Her doctor? Her brother
who she is close to? My mother is 84.
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My mom. Insists that family members are stealing her clothes. I have no idea where these items are because we moved her twice in two years. We had her in assisted living and brought her home, but this is not working. She truly spends hours talking about the missing clothes and how horrible her kids are for taking them. Anyone else have similar issue
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My mom also said "the guy" was breaking into her house at at stealing stuff. Funny thing - he always "returned" everything. But put them in odd places. (For example, he stole a belt and then VOILA - it reappeard in a plastic bag in the refrigerator!) Moved my mom to CA by me, and have told her the guy won't bother her anymore, b/c we left him in Oregon. So far so good. Keeping fingers crossed!
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It sounds like your parent has dementia/alzheimers. I went through the same thing with my mom. She blame ever one for stealing things on herfrom clothes to money or even people being in the house. I also sympathized with her and calm her down. But when things got to bad the doctor had to put her in a nursing home. I brought her to Florida to live me me and then into a assisting living when she too much for myself to care for You can neverr disgree with them. Sometime she mixed up all her medicine and blame the nurses or put two diapers on her self and blame the help.
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Helene, my Mom did the same thing 2 years ago in the beginning stages of dementia/alzheimers. Its hard to deal with for sure. The alz association told me to alway agree with them in any situation. "the customer is always right" and never say no or disagree with them. When my Mom did this I sympathized, after trying everything else, and told her I put new locks on the doors and it will never happed again, lets buy new clothes. good luck.
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Great words to live by DanielRomero "GET TO A BETTER PLACE"
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Helene, I SO hear ya!! My mother-in-law also has dementia and is in an asst living facility. She has accused people there from stealing her, clocks, clothes, magnifying glasses, now she's onto her bananas. There is no use being logical anymore, she has convinced herself. period. I used to do a hunt and search for her 'stolen' things every time I'd see her. Low and behold we'd find everything she said was stolen. She just hides things now to keep them from being 'taken' so now I'm still doing the hunt and search thing. And even though her short term memory is shot to heck, she still remembers that people are stealing her stink'in bananas. ha.
I have no word of wisdom for you because I'm still going through it myself. Just know that you are NOT alone in the craziness.
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Try to change the subject...but don't confuse her anymore by trying to reason with her...I would agree and say let's go look and see what is missing and then while looking change the subject to something you see while looking for the "missing items"... be patient...attention spans are not long with dementia sufferers...just get to a better place...good luck
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