When I try to provide assistance to my mother-in-law she is mean and only wants her son to help. What can I do about this?

Since your husband is an only child, your mother-in-law doesn't have a lot of options. I think your husband needs to speak to this. Leave a camcorder running in the house somewhere so he can see and hear how she talks to you. When your husband gets home from his long days of work say "You need to bathe your mom. She wouldn't let me do it." I can't imagine a grown man wanting to bathe his mom. He needs to be the one to tell her "I work long hours. You need to let my wife help you." She will only hear it from him. Good luck.

Maybe you are lucky that she does not want you to help her if she is mean to you-your husband and the other son will have to explor other options if she has to decide either you or to be placed she may decide that you will do esp. if she knows she is mean to you and that it is hurtful to you.

I saw in your profile that you're taking care of 'mother' and that her ailment is 'arthritis'. Is she really mentally ill, or is she just plain hateful?