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distressed2 Asked January 2010

Is it considered tough love to insist that a person gets some help?

My mother is suffering from hallucinations. Her doctor refuses to discuss her with my sister and I. I would like her medications checked, a physical and for the doctor to treat my mother for whatever it is she has. My sister and I have fought for services but my mother insists there is nothing wrong with her. She is suffering from paranoia and is in the habit of moving every three years. She crys a lot in the evenings and I just want to call an ambulance. She thinks it is a betrayal for me to suggest she go to the hospital to be checked out. She wants us to, what I feel is, playing into the notion that people are watching her and agree or I am not even sure what she wants. When I ask her she doesn't say. My sister and I have worried she is over medicated. We worry the doctor could have open communication with us and I am angry at her doctor for allowing my mother to suffer like this. I am just at a loss for what to do. Social services will not do anything the client does not want them to do and my mother will refuse any help because this isn't her it is other people. Is it love to insist lovingly that a person gets some help?

castoff Sep 2010
In full agreement with MiaMadre. Something wrong with that doctor's behavior.
I didn't know my mom's doc was using/abusing her until she had knee surgery with another doc. During her recovery I drove her to her regular physician numerous times & found he was WAY overmedicating her & giving her 3 chemical stress tests per year. His practice resembled a puppy mill of patients waiting 2 or more hours to see the doc & untold unnecessary proceedures & operations.
Do not delay in getting her away from him & finding a proper doctor.

MiaMadre Sep 2010
Personally I would report your concerns to the AMA (Amerian medical association). This doctor's behavior sounds questionable, and you should be able to get a second opinion. In my HUMBLE opinion, his behavior borders on elder abuse.

Petition the court for guardianship if you have to, so you can have her properly checked out.

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