Right now my step-dad can be cared for at home, but even my stepbrother wonders how long that will last. My mother's health is such that she cannot go back home. In fact, for over a year now her neurologist and home health have been trying to get her in assisted living due to her dementia but she refused. I am so glad that she gave me both Durable and Medical POA before her stroke, broken hip and going to the nursing home. Unlike her who planned for her long term care with an insurance policy, my step dad basically has very little to help him, but he could go to a Veteran's nursing home. Sad to say, but they have never been all that close. He has become very attached to the woman who helps him at home and drives him daily to see my mother. They both are against nursing homes and stir my mother up and dial the phone for her to request that she go home.
After visiting your wall and profile, I see you have durable POA, and have the last say. With Dad in a wheelchair, receiving help, sounds like he's just lonely for his wife, but is not realistic. How sad to see them separated. He probably pines for what used to be. Any way Dad can join her there? I see lots of couples living together in my folk's nursing home. They look so happy, and have all their needs met right there. Our NH is an exceptional one, so I don't suggest that lightly. I don't recommend them all. I feel for your Dad and Mom. What's best for both of them? Any way they can both get the care they need at home?
Get your Dr. involved. Does he want her to come home to you to take care of her? This would be then, your decision, not his. What is his health? Do you have POA for her. If not, get it!! What is her physical condition? All of these questions should be looked into to get a clear picture of what is the best action to take. What does the NH say about her ability to leave??
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