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My elderly father is in a nursing home and now they want him to leave because he is hard to manage, what should I do?

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Laura, please do talk with everyone you can. I can't imagine they can legally just make him leave without a place to go. There must be a doctor and a social worker (not involved with the home) in here somewhere. Call your county Social Services people and ask what to do. There has to be a care unit that can take him and give him the care he needs.
Carol
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Is it Alzheimer with wandering and/or combative issues? Look for a Memory Care community that specializes in the residents with cognitive issues. Have a doctor check to see if he can be helped by medications too.
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You don't say if the difficult behavior is due to Alzheimer's Disease or another form of dementia. I can't believe it is legal to ask you to take him out because they can't handle him. I would speak to the Ombudsman's office in your state. I believe most, if not all, states have them. They can advocate and act as a liaison between your family and the nursing home. Take to consumer advocates and the Better Business Bureau as well.
Please consider, whatever you discover about the law, the staff in this particular may not be equipped, training wise, to understand how to manage difficult behaviors. There may be a place better suited to meeting your father's needs. Perfect answers and solutions do not always exist but staff trained in the management of challenging behaviors associated with dementia can contribute to a more positive experience for your father. If your father suffered from mental health prior to his old age and any dementia that might be present now, that will also impact his behavior and and response to behavioral management. I recommend involving your father's PCP and getting a referral for a neuro-psych consultation. A thorough examination can take about 3 hours but will help narrow down some issues and perhaps shed some light on potential resolution or mitigation of his problems. Good Luck
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Dear Laura, my Dad is in a Nursing Home, and is being difficult, too. But he is being treated by competent medical professionals who have tried everything they can think of, including medications, and are still struggling. I can't imagine them saying they want him to leave! Where would he go? He cannot take care of himself, and has no viable options. How can they just kick your father out? I would ask to talk with their Social Worker and his Physician, and find out their Care Plan for him. Put it on them to find a solution, because that's what they're there for. Isn't it??? Please let us know how things go. Your Dad is fortunate to have you looking after his best interests. Take care!
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Unfortunately people get kicked out of nursing homes every day for just this reason. It's not really your dad's fault. That nursing homes staff either don't know how to "handle" him or don't have the time to, or both. Look for a nursing home or memory care unit that practices cognitive behavioral therapy as their philosophy of care. They know the techniques to handle him in a non-restraint (physical or chemical) way. Trying to keep him there will just piss off that nursing homes staff and they will treat him even worse.
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Yes it is sad how the eldery and sick people are treated. You had your dad is a safe place and know they want to get rid of him. I know it is hard to face but a nursing home can do that. My own mom is getting hard to handle and she is 88 years old. I have checked out so many places, and it is said how some of them even treat the eldery when you are not there. Start looking around. Make sure your contract does not state if they can handle him to would have to leave. Some nursing homes various do offer the type of care they can give from the begining of Alzheimers to the last stages. May be a change in his medicine is what he needs.. Do get with the doctor that is seeing him at the nursing home also call elder care in your state and social services. Y, and not receiv the proper care. It is true they could even treat him worse. remember you placed him to get the proper love and care and that's what you want and deserve. It maybe that are not able to handle your dad and do not want to admit it. remember to read your contract see what its states about having a person leave. Take care here is a hug for you. patrica61
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