Find Senior Care (City or Zip)
Join Now Log In
R
robyn07 Asked November 2008

How can I best care for my alcoholic aging mother?

My mother and stepfathers house went into foreclosure in Florida when my stepfather became too sick to work. My mother came to live with me and my family in az. Shes an alcoholic, She is 67 years old. We put her into Detox because she was drinking and needed to come off the alcohol, took her out of detox to come back to live with us. Shes back drinking once again. She makes me feel guilty by crying and saying shes sorry shes caused grief but I don't know what to do at this point. She gets social security checks and spends tons of money on alcohol to where she pays us nothing...I just don't know what to do..my sister asks about my mom from a distance because she doesn't want to help me out. Any advice? Am I just responsible for all this until she dies?. No amount of rehab has worked for her.. My husband is at his wits end as am I...

EXPERT Carol Bradley Bursack, CDSGF Nov 2008
No, you aren't responsible. You need to contact your county adult social services. A welfare check on her should get her into some kind of help (especially if you time it when she's drunk, as otherwise she may charm her way out of it).

It's sad. Alcoholism is a disease, and she truly does feel bad that her drinking causes you grief. But you shouldn't let the guilt trips affect you, and you can't enable her, or you'll both go under and you may lose your marriage, too.

Please contact Al-Anon and/or Families Anonymous. You need the support of others who have gone through this. You can find them online, but it's better if you can go to meetings in person. Look at the support calendar in your local newspaper or call any social service agency for the hotline number so you can find meetings. Al-Anon will help you learn to deal with your mother in a way that is healthy for you and may even help your mother, in the long run.

Blessings to you. Please check back.
Carol

ADVERTISEMENT

Ask a Question

Subscribe to
Our Newsletter