I'm quadriplegic and need assistance. Am I wrong to ask for help from my siblings who live with me and pay nothing?

I find this a bit difficult to grasp. You are a quadraplegic – can’t use your legs or arms? You spend most of your time on your phone or tablet? You have 6 relations living with you in your property and you pay all the bills? Your relations refuse to collect their pension entitlements? You are able to support them all?

Something is badly wrong here.

Is this about your family's refusal to contribute money to the household. or for the lack of care you seem to think they are responsible to provide to you?

If you want to insist your family pay rent, that is well within your rights; just bear in mind that if that occurs, you are now responsible to them as any other landlord would be. Are you able to do that? Or are you looking to barter living expenses for care? Because that's never really a idea that works out well for either party.

You say: "I dont ask for much. Just make sure i have my meals, meds and to be bathed. I have a purewick system so i don't have to be changed (only when i have a BM)."

Ummm...in my mind, that is QUITE a lot you're asking for. That sort of sounds like 24/7 care to me.

If this is legitimate, maybe it's time you sold all of your properties and looked into nursing home care. If your siblings were to come here into this forum and write their side of this story, what would they be posting about you and being burnt out? And the family dynamics have just added ANOTHER person to be cared for (older sister just became legally blind)...

I'm sorry that you've been dealt this hand, but I really think you're expecting more care than your family is able to give. Now I think you need to bring in professionals, even at the sacrifice of selling your properties, in order to get the care you clearly need but feel you aren't receiving.

Good luck.

“Quadriplegia refers to paralysis from the neck down, including the trunk, legs and arms”. This includes the HANDS. If this quadraplegic is “on my phone or tablet watching movies, paying bills ”, he has some very tricky (and extraordinarily expensive) electronic gear operated by face movements. He hasn’t mentioned this at all.

This post is most probably a scam. OP hasn’t explained his unusual abiities, his literacy is high with none of the abbreviations a quad would normally make for simplicity’s sake, and OP hasn’t replied to anything. His behavior as put forward in the question is unintelligent, and out sinc with his language. However we do get trolls, and they get a lot of fun thinking that they are so clever to fool people.

Please stop replying, wasting your time, making some jerk snigger, and bringing the site into disrepute.

I would now move into care and I would clear relatives out of my property and have it managed and rented to pay for my care. I think it doesn't work to be dependent on relatives who don't wish to care for us. I loved my job as an RN but I would not have wanted to do in home care for a sibling.
That would be my own advice and what I would do. Only you can make decisions for yourself. I surely wish you the very best.

In your county there is an Area Agency on Aging office. Call them and ask they come do a needs assessment on you and your family members to see what services are available.

And maybe some of the responsibility is yours. By allowing them to slide on paying their own way, you are decreasing the quality of life for all of you. I hope you call and see what help is available.

What is indifference now might eventually turn into abuse. Consider all your other options, seek advise from both medical and legal professionals.

Actually asking them to bathe you or clean up a bowel movement is asking a lot. I have to wonder up to this point who has been bathing you and wiping your behind since they refuse to do it. Since you refuse to kick them out and they refuse to do for you there is really no solution to your problem. If you want things to change for yourself only you can change. Trying to change others is a waste of time.

Get outta there! Seems like you're a willing victim and you deserve better:

https://www.assistedliving.org/assisted-living-options-for-people-with-disabilities/

https://www.ssa.gov/benefits/disability/

Contact ADULT PROTECTIVE SERVICES in your area and request a welfare check on yourself and a social worker to assist you in a successful self-placement. I'm not sure if you need a nursing home or an Assisted Living facility.

No. I'm a quad too. I come from a good family, but we're all over the place. even so, they help when they can. I recently had to have repairs done on my electric wheelchair. even though my oldest sister is living elsewhere works 12-13hrs and just got through nursing her husband through cancer, thank God he's cancer-free now, both she and my brother have gone beyond expectation. I'm also involved with The Center For The Aging, which is a non-profit organization that advocate for the disable.
Check in the blue government pages of your phone directory if you don't have internet access. if you do, go to a website that list all agencies for help for the disabled. they may be able to point you in the right direction.
Good luck.
Colleen Pell

I think you need to figure out how much your care would cost if you had to pay for it privately. Lots more than family not paying rent.

I think you may need to look into Skilled Nursing. You are not going to improve. You will have a lot more health problems that you cannot expect your siblings to take care of as time goes on. Sell your flats to help with your care. If you can find a nice place, you may find you will enjoy it. Skilled Nursing has activities, entertainment. People do for you because that is their job, not because they feel they have to to keep a roof over their heads. See if you can find a place with people like you. Maybe where u have ur own room with a Common area.

Its time for your family to fend for themselves. Especially the nieces and nephews that should be old enough to be on their own. Everyone should be collecting what they are entitled to. If blind sister is under 62/65, she should go for SS disability. Brother with mental problems should too. The ones that care for you can give free rent. But the ones that do no care, should be paying something. Nieces and nephews over 18 not going to College need to be paying. And if none like this, then they can find another place to live and you can rent out the flats.

I would not do anything without talking to a lawyer first because you have let this go too long. You should have set up something when they first came to live there.