My parents own two homes, neither of which my husband and I live. They are big farmhouse with barns and quite a few acres to maintain. That being said, my husband and I live almost an hour away. My mother has RA very badly but tries very hard to maintain her gardens and homes. My father has always been very healthy and puts many men half his age to shame.
My father however broke his back about a month ago cleaning out gutters. He fell off a ladder. After being taken to the hospital, I met him there and made sure all the medical info was correct...Then Sandy hit (the big storm that hit the N.E.) I moved into the one house. Both were without power and made sure the generator was properly working the sump pump. My mother was furious with my father for not having the generator plumbed. She was furious with my father for leaving her in such a mess. After 4 days my mom got electric back but there was still no electric at the house in which I was staying, in addition...no heat. Once my mom had electric I told her I had to go back home. She got an attitude and said very little.
My dad is home, has a brace and can do very little. My mom is still so mad at him. But she's been horrible to me. I go down as often as I can. I do teach full time and I myself have RSD which is a very painful debilitating condition. Many days it is so painful to work, I come home and collapse but she does not recognize this and says I'm still young and have no reason to complain..."suck it up"
Yesterday, Thanksgiving, my husband and I wanted to spend the morning to ourselves. We are trying to buy a home and some paperwork needed to be gathered. My mom had TOLD me that we were to be at her house to cut the holly at 12:00. I called her and told her that we couldn't be down until later. She asked if that would be "what, between 1 and 2?" I said that sounded about right and we left it at that.
We got to her house about 2:15 and she snapped "never mind, its too late." I asked if she she was upset about the time and she barked that"it would have been nice to see us earlier. What were you doing all day?" I told her what we had to do and she yelled again "well you should have gotten up earlier." I had gotten up at 6:30.
My husband and I have had no time together. My house hasn't been cleaned in such a long time but I go down to help her whenever I can. When I am there she is condescending, yells, and is very very mean.
I've typed a lot but as I look over it, it does not express how its been. I can't seem to express how I feel.
I don't know how to talk to her. Every time I do, I say the wrong thing.
I don't know how to help her. There are so many things to do, some of which I can't do.
I don't know who to talk to myself.