I’m confused. How did she manage to nag and control you in 60 seconds, and also tell you to eff off? Or did she nag and control, and you said the eff off? Or perhaps you both talked very fast without listening to each other?
You want something that Mom is not able to give. Love and attention. If my Mom had told me to F off that would be the last time she, or anyone, would hear from me again. I so try to be nice to everyone and I deserve it in kind. But that does not always happen and when it doesn't, I don't go back asking for more, I cut them out of my life. I don't need that negativity.
I don't know how it is possible, but I suspect it is possible because you LET IT BE possible. Hang up. Stop answering her. Tell her to call 911 if she has needs and to leave you alone. Or continue on as you are, but without complaining. The complaining takes up your energy. That energy is either needed to deal with "her" or to make a new life for "you".
I wish you the best. You are an adult. You are responsible now for your own life.
It's possible because you ALLOW her to get under your skin and make you miserable. Per your other post your mother is a nasty toxic person so why do you continue to subject yourself to her in any way? Time to set some long overdue boundaries which may include just cutting her out of your life completely for your own sanities sake.
I am trying to figure that out. I feel guilty making such a harsh decision like completely cutting her off but I am tired of the same feelings resurfacing. I just know that every time things get toxic between us, I feel awful and it effects everything, family, work, life, just everything. Its very depressing and I I feel angry at that.
Hang up.
Stop answering her.
Tell her to call 911 if she has needs and to leave you alone.
Or continue on as you are, but without complaining. The complaining takes up your energy. That energy is either needed to deal with "her" or to make a new life for "you".
I wish you the best.
You are an adult.
You are responsible now for your own life.
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Per your other post your mother is a nasty toxic person so why do you continue to subject yourself to her in any way?
Time to set some long overdue boundaries which may include just cutting her out of your life completely for your own sanities sake.