19. Be sure to activate the P.O.A. early enough to prevent banks and creditors from calling. You can back off later if they get better. How will you know? The primary person who has been paying bills has been in the hospital over two weeks and will be going to rehab to recover. This timing is crucial, and will take a huge burden of confusion off family, and help keep finances confidential, the bills paid up.
Notebooks,,, notebooks! All important papers, Dr info, med info and POA and end of life information. Importnat financial information and phone numbers! Update as needed...
Don't argue with dementia, try to convince someone they have dementia, and get used to having the same conversation/questions over and over and over and over and over.............
When they are pushing your buttons Teepa Snow says to breath... big, deep, slow breaths. It also helps to just get away for a few minutes if you can... I'm going out for a walk to see the moon rise. Just as soon as my cookies come out of the oven ;)
#15... try to take over the finances if you have Power of Attorney for the elder.
This will help you keep track what bills are coming to your parent(s)... have the bills mailed to your own address or to a post office box if you live under the same roof as your parent. Also you have control so that Mom and/or Dad dosn't get caught up in money scams.
14. Always treat them with dignity, and protect that by not talking about them as if they are not there, such as "he did this", etc. HE is right there! Even if they are in a hospital bed, in a coma, or asleep.
#13? Look after yourself, to combat stress go outside for fresh air and exercise every day, even if it is cold and crappy and you would rather curl up inside with a warm beverage. I wish I had gone out today.
#12... the thermostat wars. There comes a time when our elders feel very cold, it is just part of aging, not much we can do about it even if our elders are dressed for sub-freezing weather.
If you visit your elders in winter, bring along a pair of shorts and a t-shirt so you can be more comfortable. May not be able to breath so you would need to step out onto the porch to get some air.
If your elders live with you, close the vents in your bedroom and other rooms that only you use. That way you can retreat to those rooms when it feels like the rest of the house is in a rain forest.
#11... if the elder wants to eat ice cream for breakfast... give him/her two scoops. It's ok as long as sugar isn't an issue. Elders lose their sense of taste except for sweets.
#6. They may fall, never grab onto their hands or forearms-it may make it worse. Even telling the really independent to fall into you and you both will slowly lower to the ground will be a problem. Yesterday, as our elder started to fall, my hubs was standing so close, without touching him, he was behind him and uprighted him by his underarms, whew! Then I saw a two-year-old-like maneuver, flinging his arms as if-don't touch me! No fall though!
#7 when you make a doctor appointment for a loved one... tell your loved one the appointment is a half hour earlier than appointed. You will find you will need that extra half hour to help find their coat, their hat, their wallet, their cane, their glasses, and trying to get them into the car.
Their thinking is different now, and you must find other ways to get cooperation. A dementia patient is not the person you once knew and you cannot reason with them, or lecture or teach them, no matter how hard you try. All you will do is upset yourself, and them and they won't remember it, but you will. Think of a difficult dementia patient as someone with 2-3 year old emotions and behavior (that unfortunately, unlike a child will not get better) That person still has the verbal ability of an adult. Experiment, and just like with a child, give them lots of love, patience and you will discover how to get them to respond the best without stressing both of you.
#2 - a person with dementia is basically a 3 year old with baggage - how would you deal with a small child - bring them a small treat like a coffee & doughnut, a small plant, a picture of a family member
#1 - if a person with dementia was always mean & complaining then they will be even more so until dementia is so advanced that they don't do anything - don't expect a mean person to become a nice, friendly person just because they are ill ....rather the opposite
The primary person who has been paying bills has been in the hospital over two weeks and will be going to rehab to recover.
This timing is crucial, and will take a huge burden of confusion off family, and help keep finances confidential, the bills paid up.
This will help you keep track what bills are coming to your parent(s)... have the bills mailed to your own address or to a post office box if you live under the same roof as your parent. Also you have control so that Mom and/or Dad dosn't get caught up in money scams.
If you visit your elders in winter, bring along a pair of shorts and a t-shirt so you can be more comfortable. May not be able to breath so you would need to step out onto the porch to get some air.
If your elders live with you, close the vents in your bedroom and other rooms that only you use. That way you can retreat to those rooms when it feels like the rest of the house is in a rain forest.
A dementia patient is not the person you once knew and you cannot reason with them, or lecture or teach them, no matter how hard you try. All you will do is upset yourself, and them and they won't remember it, but you will.
Think of a difficult dementia patient as someone with 2-3 year old emotions and behavior (that unfortunately, unlike a child will not get better) That person still has the verbal ability of an adult.
Experiment, and just like with a child, give them lots of love, patience and you will discover how to get them to respond the best without stressing both of you.