Mom will not drink water, juice or any other fluid. Instead she only drinks coffee, lots and lots of it. We make it super weak, so it's really just like coffee flavored water.
If I bring Mom to the dinner table in the evening she demands a Gin and Tonic. We tried to water it down but she knows the difference. We even tried cheap Gin, but she recognizes the difference. Heck, despite her dementia she still remembers what Bombay Gin tastes like.
Finally, she's got these shoes with 4 inch wedges. Super dangerous! We've tried everything but she will not take them off despite our best efforts...even in bed. I used to joke that she was going to wear those shoes to death, but at this point?
Without a doubt, all these quirks are bad for her, but I've learned life is better for both of us if I don't try and stop them.
I BEG the family to not send or give her 'things' anymore. Just cards and money or GCs for Christmas, etc. One SIL will ALWAYS find some little item for her place and since SIL doesn't clean or dust mom's place she doesn't get how annoying it is to find that there is now ANOTHER African Violet or cutesy saying on a plaque.
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When my brother died he was buried with his Irish hat he wore a lot. Understand completely about the baseball cap.
My mother will tell me she is going to cook a nice meal for us at times and I know she means it. She was a great cook. I think it is sweet your mother offers to help you. I think she means well.
She barely manages to walk using a walker. She can't lift her arms over her head. She can't stand for long periods of time. ie, there's not much she can do and absolutely nothing she needs to do. But this question is a CONSTANT.
Every now and then, when I need a smile or chuckle, I will answer with a suggestion like "Well, you can come and set the table." to which she will produce a heavy sigh, sit further back in her chair, and reply, "Do I have to?" Obviously, she just likes to be told she has nothing to do!
Blessed Be the caregivers. May our patience and senses of humor never run dry!