Do you forgive me?

Question

I’m back. Do you all forgive me for leaving? I’m sorry I left. I was having a pity party for myself. I plan on talking to my therapist tomorrow but in the meantime I missed you all!!

I wanted to also apologize to Lealonnie and Needhelpwithmom for leaving when you both were going through a difficult time with both your mother’s and your DH’s sick. You were both there for me when my mother was dying and I never meant to turn my back in your time of need. I’m sorry.

I also realize that the only way for me to get better, is to help others. I wanted to reach out to all of you and let you know I am there for you.

If I find a thread to be a trigger, I will just move on to another thread. I can always go to the jokes thread or to the what’s for dinner thread.

Thank you to everyone who had reached out to me on my deleted thread. I need all of you. I know that I still have a lot to contribute to this thread so that is why I asked to come back.

It's spring and it’s a sunny day today. I’m glad to be alive and I’m glad to be back!!

elaine1962 · Accepted Answer

Thank you Needhelpwithmom for your sweet comment. I know you have been through so much to. Prayers going out to you. Thank you bro all of you for your comments. I wish I could reply to each one of you . Thank you for all of your comments not the word bro. Stupid autocorrect. Never knows when to correct, lol.

Beatty · Answer

Of course ☺️
🌫️🌬️☀️

NeedHelpWithMom · Answer

Elaine,

As far as I am concerned, you never have to apologize to us.

I deal with triggers too. Certain threads remind me of painful moments in my past.

Sometimes I will contribute, other times I don’t.

We want you to be at peace. I strive for peace in life also.

It really hasn’t been all that long since your mom died. You’ve been through a lot.

Take care.

97yroldmom · Answer

Hi Elaine
Good to see you back.
Hugs

elaine1962 · Answer

Thank you for welcoming me back. I also have wondered where Cali has been and if she’s ok.

sjplegacy · Answer

I remember you signing off and thought that was unusual instead of just not replying to posts for awhile. Glad you're back. I think you're more valuable to this forum now that you've gone thru not only the experience of caregiving, as difficult as that was, but also the loss of your LO, the funeral, the burial, the grief that follows, and the reflection of it all. Welcome back.

AlvaDeer · Answer

I am so glad to hear this. Thrilled, really. You DO have so much to contribute. So many here know what you have gone through and admire you for the way you have handled things. Hope you can stay. Only want you to do what is best for you. I agree that helping others contributes to our healing for the most part, but it can also contribute to memories of frustration and helplessness. Just want you to do what works for YOU.
As to some of us dealing with our own "stuff" I wonder if anyone has recently heard from Cali. I know she is dealing with health issues of loved ones and am wondering how she is doing.

Anche71 · Answer

I am glad you are back! I wanted to tell you that I was sorry you left but that it is right to do what is best for you... But I didn't know if you would read...
Hugs !

elaine1962 · Answer

Thank you!!! To All if you!! This is where I need to be!!!! Thank you for all your encouragement. This feels like home to me.

I will take time off from here in the future if I need to. I just won’t delete my account. I will take a respite in the future if I need to.

Spring is here and I’m so happy to be alive!!!

Sendhelp · Answer

Elaine 1962!
Wish that I had your courage, to vote with my feet!

You are needed here, and offer a blessing to all who read you!

BarbBrooklyn · Answer

Elaine, ((((((hugs)))))). I have left several times. I come back. Take a break when you need to and be guided by your therapist.

Bottom line, you need to figure out to take care of YOU.

Those of us who were brought up to be "people pleasers" always think that we need to do the polite thing, the thing that makes the other person feel good. We were told that to do otherwise was selfish or bad. It's not.

It is self preservation and you do what YOU need to to protect yourself.

B

Lvnsm1826 · Answer

You do whats best for you. Whether thats leaving or staying. We love you either way.

Welcome back:)

Daughterof1930 · Answer

Elaine, so happy to hear from you in a better frame of mind. Didn’t blame you a bit for feeling the need to step away, actually hope you’ll do it anytime you feel overwhelmed. Since losing my dad, my last parent, there have been a number of threads here that I just have to avoid. There are times I’ll see one that hits a nerve and I consciously tell myself to not go there. You were very correct that there’s unexpected emotion in losing a parent. We think of grief and sadness but there are other things as well, we’re both wading through that a bit at a time. Enjoy the spring day and know you’re valued and cared about

earlybird · Answer

Hello Elaine. glad you  are back. You have a lot to offer this Forum and we are here to support you. Hope you have a wonderful spring season. Hugs to you.

lealonnie1 · Answer

There is nothing to forgive you FOR, my friend. Seems to me there's always going to be people or threads here to trigger me.............people saying things that get me SO riled up I feel like deleting my entire profile sometimes, honest to God. Then I remember something: I GET more than I GIVE here. I need to avoid the posts that aggravate the snot out of me and move along to one that soothes my anguished soul, you know? Not that it's always possible, but I try to focus on the discussions and the posts that I can add something to, based on my own experience, or draw something from, based on someone else's experience. I've learned from you, Elaine, so I'm glad you're back and sharing yourself once again.

We're all in this together, right? Bumbling and stumbling along together, one day at a time.

Sending you a big HUG this sunny Spring day, even though it's supposed to SNOW here in Denver tonight. Again. After it being 72 degrees yesterday! UGH.

elaine1962 · Answer

Yes!! Excellent idea. I will update my profile.

JoAnn29 · Answer

What would be nice is if you change your profile. Just a little something about how things are going. Its hard to go back to previous posts at this point and have a lot of new members.

Welcome back.

funkygrandma59 · Answer

There is nothing to forgive. We're just glad you're back. And I liked when you said that the only way for you to get better is to help others. That is so very true, and the reason many of us who are no longer caregiving choose to stay on this forum. Welcome back!!!

cxmoody · Answer

Oh, Elaine! I’m glad you’re back!

I value your expertise and wisdom!

Hugs to you!

Colleen

Do you forgive me?

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