Dementia.

I want to reflect on something in my caregiving journey. I am acknowledging that I am having signs of caregiver stress. I don't think anyone wants to admit to not being able to handle every aspect of taking care of their loved one but by posting this I am saying to myself and all other caregivers in this situation that it is okay to not be "the perfect caregiver." Sometimes I feel like I am losing my mind because my gram switches from severe memory loss to being very lucid and completely here. When she is lucid she can't understand why she isn't living at her house anymore and why I have to take her to the bathroom etc.. and it makes the caregiving extremely difficult. It is like her mind tells her she is good to go but her body is not on board anymore. It is sad and frustrating to deal with these episodes which have been on and off for over a year now. I want her to be happy or at least somewhat happy but she seems miserable no matter what I do. I miss just being her granddaughter which basically I traded at the door when I became her full time caregiver. Thanks for letting me vent.