Can I vent?

Ha, my sig other does that and he has no medical issues... he's just too glued to the tube watching sports to even notice :P

My husband keeps reading the paper ,which takes him until one in the afternoon and than he goes in the den to wait for his lunch and pain pill. Truthfully I find it easier without his help. The kitchen is small and with him and his walker and me afraid of tripping over it, it is so much faster alone,but it would be nice to be asked

I get it. For over a week I've been trying to help my mom with her eye sight and reading. Spent time of the phone arranging two different types of eye appointments and time on line looking for reading aids like special lights and magnifiers. Spent an afternoon going to stores but finally found something I think could help her until we get to the eye doctors. Yesterday I take the magnifier thingy to her - thinking she'd be happy with it. Mom barely glanced at it before setting it aside. No "thank you" - nothing. I didn't make the effort for accolades and I know the dementia has warped her thinking - but still I found myself thinking "oh yes Rainmom - thank you sooooo much for trying to help - yeah, right"! But then again I was probably kidding myself all along - if this was 10 years ago she wouldn't have thanked me then either.

This is the one thing that I found (still find) so trying in caring for my mother. It is as if all her attention is focused on herself and her needs, no one gives a c%$p about me anymore. When I am feeling down I think that even a newborn will smile at you and melt your heart, a dog will wag it's tail or a cat will purr and offer friendship, but as I once posted my mother has become this "giant suck-hole of need" with never any thoughts of me or my well being. And we used to be good friends and companions, that is what really sucks :(

Oh, I understand so well. One thing that royally ticks me off is when I come up the steps laden with groceries, and my mother just sits there watching TV. You would think she would at least try to open the door for me. But no. My father used to open the door for me, even when he was very frail and had dementia. My mother doesn't feel the need to help.

Big hugs to you. I know how you feel. It seems trivial, but it really isn't.