Well,I was trying to find an assisted living place for my mom..we had a Goold assessment at our house.She has moderate dementia and frequent UTI's which are devastating for her and us. My sister has the power of attorney which we just found out will not give her any power unless mom is deemed incompetent by 2 shrinks. Now I am well, stuck in a very difficult situation. My mother does not take care of herself, does not help out at all.I also take care of my 5 grandkids and school is almost out. There is no help available, as she has too much money in her IRA. I tried a lady in but she locks the door and won't let her in her room. Any ideas??? I have not been alone with my husband in 6 months....hopeless feeling some days.
"Mom, I am very sorry, but with the grandchildren out of school now I cannot keep you here any longer. I will help you find a nice place to live." I know this sounds very drastic -- how can you kick your own mother out? -- but if it is a way to do what is best for her, maybe drastic isn't so bad.
Also, do you mean she has a lock on her bedroom door? Whoa, that can't be a good thing if she has dementia. I'd remedy that situation have hire another caregiver, until you can resolve the issue of removing her from your home.
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If she does, you could write up a new POA that allows you to act at any time, not just if she is deemed incompetent. Then when she has a good/clear day, have her sign it (with notary, of course).