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She has mild/moderate Alzheimer's and is a fall risk, so she can't be left alone. I am really feeling sorry for myself that I can't do anything without being sure that someone is home to take care of her. Mom goes to Adult Day Care 4 days a week, so I do get a break while I go to work, but never-the-less, I am really missing my life before she moved in. I also miss the family time that we had before she moved in. My kids that are still living with us are somewhat resentful that Mom is here and spend a lot of time in their rooms, where before, they spent a lot of time with the family. They're 18 and 21, so it's not like they'll be home for much longer.

Any suggestions on how to get over the self pity? I really don't like the way I'm feeling...

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JessieBelle, thanks for your support. My husband is wonderful. He's very supportive. He was very upset when Mom was in nursing care and suggested that she move in with us. I'm very lucky! I know that when she's no longer with us, I'll be so grateful for this time. I think you're right...my kids are really having a hard time adjusting. I worry that her being here will "push" them away from me. We have a really close relationship.

capnhardass - I think the lesson I need to learn is patience. The thing that I can't let go of is when Mom doesn't use her walker. She's only been with us 5 months and has fallen 5 times...all of those when she isn't using the walker. When she's at day care, she's very good about using it. I need to just walk over, put the walker in front of her and not say a word. I find it much easier to type than put in to practice. You have a wonderful attitude - I think I can learn something from you.
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im pretty proud of the care im giving my mother. shes late stage dementia and has to be watched like a baby. im a real homebody tho, not very sociable and dont feel like im missing a thing. some day ill get to go back to my new shack and at that time anything good that comes my way ill feel like i earned it.. ever since i learned not to argue with ma demento things have gotten much easier.
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drhaha, what you are feeling is so normal. We get things set up for our families the way that we want, then someone introduces this new person -- our parent! I don't think there is a way to make it better. We just adjust and do what we can. I have to admit that I wouldn't have tried it with two older children in the house. Teenagers can have a very hard time with change as they are becoming individuals in their own right. It is a confusing time for them.

I hope that it will get easier for you. The first few months are the hardest, with everyone getting use to each other. How does your husband feel about it?
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