When Mom set up her living trust, she named my sister and I both as Power of Attorney. What do we do if we don't agree?

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If you both have the exact same powers then you are going to need to be able to come to some sort of agreement. I believe other than that it would need to be heard by an arbitrator or judge. One has no more power than the other. Hopefully you will discuss various scenarios prior to the need and decide ahead of time what the plan of action will be. Keeping the lines of communication open will be very helpful. If your mother is still of sound mind, you might want to consider each of you being responsible for certain "domains". That way you can both participate, but not have to battle one another.
Try to come to a meeting of the minds when both of you have equal POA's. Are you both the beneficiaries as well? Equal beneficiaries?
There can only be one executor or personal representative. As you know POA s expire with the death of the donor.
We are both equal beneficiaries in the trust and both executors of the Will. Mom's desire is that we both share everything equally. Problem is that we are two opposites when it comes to how we do things. My fear is that there will be some disagreement as to how to handle something...say the selling of Mom's house. My sister will feel her opinion matters more because she is the oldest. She is not the most responsible.
That Bobbi may have point about shared " Domains"/ However, I would try to engage your mother in the decision making process before it's too late. Your'e bound to run into trouble with the big issues such as when / if to sell the house. Money is always an issue after someone dies.

Been there/done that.
My thoughts go out to you---you are in a very difficult situation. I became the POA for mom when it became apparent that it needed to be done and I am the most qualified of the 3 of us sibblings. (Not to blow my horn but a truthful statement since my sister can't even balance her own checkbook and has no computer skills, etc) I am now hated by her b/c she thinks I hold a title of glory---with no responsibilities!! Is she ever wrong! The problem that I see in your situation is how your mom would react if she knew there was tension between her two daughters and she was asked to step in and mediate. My 86 year old mom can't handle any disagreements among her kids. It really upsets her and can bring on a panic attack. Maybe your mom is different---I certainly hope so. My brother is the BACK-UP POA for me but there is still onlu one POA. Good Luck!!
Another option, is to (if your sister is competent and you have confidence in her) is to just step back and let her take the reigns if she wants them. I have learned that when it comes to family, unless some harm will be done, to go the path of least resistance. Family squabbles are never pretty so it is sometimes better to just give up that control.
My brother-in-law and I both have POA, although all three sons are on their mothers bank accounts. As long as he and I are putting his mom's welfare first and not doing what we personally want, then there has been no disagreement. If it ever came to that though, I would want the other two brothers to weigh in and make the decision. Seems logical to me.
Thanks to everyone who posted a reply. My situation is most like Nanlinjoe's...I'm hoping that we can agree to get an independent 3rd party to be the 'tie-breaker' should it become necessary. I don't know if that can be added to a POA or not, but I think we (my sister and I) would both rest easier. Thank you again. What a great website, and as Mom's condition worsens, I'm sure I'll be back. Thank you!
If you want a "professional" sort of 3-rd party, contact your local area agency on aging to see if they have someone who volunteers to help elders when they become confused. Though it's not the same situation, they will have experience and understand the ramifications of all decisions. An elder attorney might also be able to hook you up with a an arbitrator or mediator who can help make decisions. Be sure to find someone who listens to both sides, to your doctors, your attorney, etc and then makes a decision. Also be sure s/he meets all state criteria. Too often I hear of mediators that are buddies with attorneys getting the job to "keep the $$ in their friendly circle...,, ;(

It might help to tell your sister - provided you DO feel this way - that you fear disagreement and that you want to ensure your relationship outlives your mom and settling her estate. Perhaps a heartfelt plea to get along will make her realize that you should let someone else make decisions when conflict comes up.
know what you mean- i and my bro are poa - my other brother never moved out of moms home- he is 47 - she just moved in with me 5 months ago- said he was grumpy- putting it mildly- anyway the home is in the bay area- my other brother who has poa - moved out of state- he wants to kick brother out of moms house- i dont thnk my mom would like that - you never can agree - it is unfortunate

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