How to look after my bedridden father and bring him back to his normal life?

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My father had a stroke when he was 55 years old affecting his right side completely but recovered partially within two months and continued his job of an electric engineer till the age of 61 years. After this he shifted to his native place and led very dormant, inactive life and slowly become dependent on me and my mother for his routine work. He had undergone a hernia surgery afterwards. Two years back his doctor told us that he has Hydrocephalus but could not be operated upon owing to his advanced age hence he always loosing his balance very often and falling down. He had difficulty in controlling urine. Now he is 76 years old and one month back he tripped off and got his pelvic bone fractured after the fall. He is operated upon with an implant of femur ball. Doctor has told us my father has initiated Parkinsons. He is discharged from the hospital and is at home with nurse at home for him.He is bedridden(on airbed), has lost bladder and bowel control and passes stools continuosly. Initially his meal was mainly in the form of a thick syrup but now he is on normal diet. He seems normal, even his speech is getting clearer and audible day by day. But problem is that he is not wiiling to get up from the bed, wants others to feed him, not ready to stand on his feet. His wounds and suture all are in perfecr condition, healing even though he is diabetic. He attacks and tries to hit his nurse if she persuades him to do anything. He is in perfect condition of mind and memory. His diet is mainly Chappatis, Idly, Dosa, broken wheat porridge, cooked rice. Since he is bedridden, has lost bladder and bowel control and passes urine and very smelly stools very often. We use diaper for him but he scratches and pulls and removed the diaper soils the bed. Any suggestion on what I can do to control his Attitude and bring back him to the normal routine? My work is being affected with this sudden change of scenario at home. His doctor says he is perfectly normal and persuaded to return back normal life. Any suggestion on what I can do to control his life and my family life as well. I have two small daughters demanding my time and care but I hardly get time for them or for my work as my father needs 2-3 person to handle his condition.

Answers 1 to 5 of 5
Surajmc, this is a terrible situation you have been put in. Your father should have been discharged to a rehabilitation facility so they could work with him until he was on his feet again. Talk to his doctor about getting him into rehab to see if it will help. If he remains in the same condition, you may want to transfer him to a long-term nursing facility where they will have a team of people to take care of him. I don't know what your parents' financial situation is. If they do not have enough money for the facility, you can look into applying for Medicaid.

Sometimes situations are beyond our abilities to care for someone at home. Maybe in rehab your father could regain some of the things he used to do. I hope that will be the case.
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Are you in the US, Surajmc? If so, I agree with JessieBelle's suggestions. Father should have some time in a rehab facility. Did he?

What kind of a doctor is taking care of his Parkinson's? If it is not a specialist I think that is a good place to start. Obviously your father is not in perfect condition of mind -- people in perfect mental condition do not hit their nurse and do not pull off their disposable underwear and soil the bed. Something is going on here that is not "normal" no matter what his doctor's tests show. Have you shared Father's behavior with the doctor?

I also agree with JessieBelle that given the present circumstances it is not suitable to continue to try to take care of Father at home. Maybe rehab can get him into a better frame of mind. Maybe being told that if he cannot feed himself and cooperate with his care that you won't be able to keep him home would give him some incentive for better behavior. But maybe he just cannot help his current level of functioning and no amount of rehab or incentives will change that. Try everything you can, but keep a long-term care facility as one of the options for him.

Not all Parkinson patients experience mental decline but it is fairly common. That is why I think he should see a specialist who is told all about his behavior at home.
I agree with the recommendations made for rehab. They may be able to push him to greater independence. You mentioned that he has smelly stools. It may be a good idea to get a stool culture as there are some infections that can cause loose, smelly, frequent stools. I also agree with having a neurological/cognitive evaluation to see what other factors may be influencing his current status
JessieBelle, jeannegibbs, sjsimmons,
I feel so connected and touched for your helpful recommendations. I am placed at Cochin, Kerala state, India, belonging to a lower middle class family. I surely will try to find out some rehab centres around and see If I am able to afford it. My father has not taken any medical insurance, I have to explore if any insurance company is there still ready for give cover the health my dad in present condition. Meanwhile I would try consult some other specialists for a second opinion and do the stool and urine culture as well.

Surajmc, I hope that you can find something for your father. If possible, handle anything he soiled carefully in case there is an infection in your father's intestine. It may just be because of the stroke and losing control of his bowels, but I worry when there are runny stools. It is best to handle with gloves and to use bleach if possible to clean what he has soiled. My thoughts are with you.

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