How can I help my disabled elderly relative with his messy toileting issues?

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My elderly relative has very limited use of his fingers and hand on the right side. He stands at the toilet to urinate and sprays over the rim and along the toilet base. I am trying to figure out how to address this reoccurring mess. I taped disposable bedpads, first as cutouts, around the toilet base, then I made slings from the toilet to the walls to catch the dribble and spray. Since he uses a walker, both ideas did not work out; the pads got twisted up into a big mess in no time. He prefers to stand, however unsteadily, from habit and because sitting and rising are difficult, although there is a tall toilet in the bathroom. The caulk has finally shriveled up around the base of the stained toilet floor; it is an ongoing mess. We clean with bleach water weekly, down from scrubbing every 2 or 3 days initially. Are there any suggestions or should I just accept the mess and live with it. He cannot see what is happening and he is deaf. My husband is reluctant to embarrass the old fellow by trying to show him what is happening. How do nursing homes handle such a situation.

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This is so common, and your compassion is admirable. Many people deal with this. I'm just throwing this out for ideas, as I don't know what more you can do but clean up the mess and accept it.

Any ideas out there?
my father used to do that , i finaly put a stop to it , make it worst when he has to poo too and it comes out while he s standing . nanana
we have a handicap toilet which is higher than reg toilet and a grab bar in front of dad , makes it easier for him to pull himself up offthe toilet when hes done , makes my job easier too .
if he was on the reg low toilet believe me i would never beable to get him up .
dad did refuse to sit but i had to force him to sit , told him pee poo everywhere no no no . so he accept it .
wish you luck ,,
Two of my sisters-in-law are nurses. When their dad was alive, they had to give him baths. They felt squeamish at first, because it was their dad, but they resigned themselves to just think of him as one of their patients and then it was easier for them. My husband has had to help me with his mother, because she is too heavy for me, sometimes. He just resigned himself to the fact that she needed help and he wasn't going to let her lay there. She's a "fall risk" and is 78 yrs. old. She has advanced Alzheimer's.
Sometimes, she doesn't know where the toilet is. Sometimes, she doesn't know how to use the toilet. We've just had to pull her pants down and get her on the toilet--but we don't pull them down until we are close to the toilet or else she would let loose.
How would you like poop sliding down the toilet and onto the floor and in her shoes and all over her clothes? Not fun to clean up, but that's one thing to expect. Sometimes, she doesn't make it to the toilet before she urinates. I've been doing laundry daily now since May 2009. Good luck!
Oh my God. Reading these amazing stories made me laugh out loud. I've been taking care of my mom for 9 years and she is incontinent and has chronic diarhea. I'm laughing, maybe because it is so hard and can be so awful. If I wore a hat I would take it off for you. I spend so much time trying to keep things clean and sanitary. I can just see you taping those pads to the wall. LOL

Sometimes I just wheel my mom outside and hose her off. I had hot water installed outside for that purpose! You are not alone!

I can understand your husband and I take care of his Dad and run into similar issues. His father's bodily functions are going. He pees on the floor - never gets it in the toilet. He is at a point where he cannot tell when he needs to go, so he pees and poops on the floor and the carpet. My husband has tried talking to him and, either he ignores it or brushes him off...tells my husband he's going nuts.

Our solution was to put a towel on the floor. It saves daily cleaning on our hands and knees...and it's much easier to wash the towels. Now, instead of cleaning the floor daily, we bleach it once a week. The towels seem to do the trick.

As far as the carpet...rather than constantly having to clean up the poop from the carpet in front of the sink, a plastic runner solved the problem!

And, by the way, the toilet he uses does have the elevated extension and the hand rails...while it helps him get up and down from the toilet, it doesn't help when he decides to go in his pants rather than get up from his recliner to go to the bathroom. So now he wears pads...we're still fighting to get him to wear depends. At least we now have a pad on his recliner seat so as not to ruin the furniture!

Hope some of these suggestions help! We know the frustration!
Sitting to pee is the better way for all those elderly gentlemen who are mentally intact enough to understand the advantages. And it sure is a good thing for them to learn when they are already on the way downhill. I guess it would be very hard to teach an old dog new tricks.
I guess I'm just comforted by hearing others dealing with the same issue. My dad has Alzheimer's, but during the day peeing is not usually a problem. It's when he wakes at night and seems not to "orient" real well. The overnight pee jug next to his bed used to work well, but then it became a bucket, and now it seems to not work more often than work. *sigh*
My father-in-law is 91 and is developing dimentia.
He mess the toilet too. We bought him a urine bottle at a pharmacy (like the one they're using in hospital).
It helps at the first time, but someone has to remind him to use it otherwise he forgets all the time. We got frustated because he keeps forgetting (because of his dimentia).
Last night, my husband had a great idea. We put the bottle on the top of the toilet (close the lid) so he will see the bottle.
It helps. But we need to put the bottle back, because he will put it on the floor after using it (much easier than cleaning the mess).
Hopefully this will works, at least for now. We understand this is just a beginning...
This mess only starts about 2 months ago & it stress me out! We always do the cleaning together (me and my husband), at least the burden carried together is much much lighter!!

Hope this will help.

Our mom has made some awful messing going to the toilet too. For one thing, she can't get up and walk fast enough to make it all the way to the bathroom anymore. We eventually got her a bed side toilet. She didn't want it at first but some saw that it was better to use that than to mess up her clothes and the floor every time she needed to go!
As she has worsened, we discovered another helpful way of dealing with the mess. We put a large bath mat under the bedside toilet so it catches to misses and drips and overflow, etc. Then every day (sometimes twice) we take the mat away and put out a new one and wash the dirty one in the washer with plenty of hot soapy water. It doesn't alleviate all of the mess but it sure does make the cleanup a little easier.
How about just have him sit down on the toilet to urinate. There is no law written that a guy has to stand to pee.

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