The two words that any caregiver will learn to dread!

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I'll cut to the chase with this discussion. I won't sugar coat anything. Those two dreaded words are urine and feces......yes, piss and shit. Some time in your "caregiver saga", you will learn to dread those two words. With that said, I just had to clean up after my 89 years old mother. She craves a junkie craves heroin. Every time she has a bowel movement, its never good enough. She can fill up the toilet, but in her mind "hardly anything came out". What gets so twisted in the elderly mind that they have such a fixation on having bowel movements? It can be an all day subject with my mother. It completely takes over her. Her new favorite word is enema, but I refuse to ever go that route. She can have a good bowel movement and the very next day mention an enema. When she has her bowel movement......she is as meek as a lamb......only to turn into a crazed tiger when her next bowel movement is "due".
As usual folks......the curse continues!


My late grandmother was also fixated on laxatives.Same thing she could go five times a day and fill up the bowl but it was never enough. I do remember she grew up during the Depression and would tell me of stories of people who became constipatedand died of peritonitis. Back then if you couldn't pay for surgery you died.She grew up in a very rural and poor part of Texas. We would have to watch her in the grocery store because she would buy six packs of Philips of magnesia laxative.I guess this behavior may have been from growing up in the Depressions with no med care and seeing people actually dying of peritonitis caused by a rupture bowel from impaction she saw even minor constipation as life threatening.
Is there a *sugar* pill or a fake pill that her doctor can give to her telling her the pills are laxatives?

Maybe in her mind if she has a daily bowel movement that means she is still alive.
wow... THAT is my main issue... I can handle everything else but the poop... and there is SOOOOO much of it. All the time, he hides it he smears it. I'm supposed to give him "therapy exercises" and it never fails... we begin and he poops. and its like elephant size... then he tells me "its a different type of poop stuff that isn't his" WTF? it came out of your butt? how can it not be yours? I won't even watch grandkids who are still in diapers for the fear they'll go and I'll lose my cool. bro and sis came over to have a "family meeting" and he had JUST pooped on the floor in front of the toilet and they leaned against the wall and WATCHED me clean it up... I was crying and dry heaving the entire time and they didn't even offer to help in any way. I want to run away.
You know from the outside this seems almost fake, but (no pun intended) I do believe you having lived with a sweet Grandmother gone out of bounds
myself. Time to give up and send him to a care home.
These anecdotes are not funny but I had to laugh as I've experienced many similar situations while taking care of relatives.Yes, at some point your mind snaps and you can actually look back and laugh.
Helpful suggestions:
Vicks under the nose.It will help you cope with the odor.
Latex gloves,Double strength bounty, scented waste bags and strong smelling cleaners used with a swiffer type disposable pad makes a quicker clean up.
Laxatives and enemas: Yes, using them habitually leads to dependancy both physical and mental.You need to consult your doc or a RN who is familier with geriatric probs.for a solution.
Playing with their poops or not making the bowl:
Try this:Time and schedule their meals and snacks.Usually the bowels move within an hour or less depending on their age.The body has it's own clock and will evacuate on schedule whether the person has eaten or not so making a "date" with the procelin throne at scheduled times will help.
The types of food you serve will often affect this schedule so be aware! Heavy leals, roughage (salads) Chocolate, coffee, sugary treats all move things along more quickly than expected!
Therapy and poops: If he poops as soon as therapy begins why not sit him on the john for these sessions?If his BM is that predictable you could save yourself some time.

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