I cared for my Mom for 8 years and before that it was my father, brother in law and aunt. I hit the wall and began having severe panic and anxiety attacks due to the stress. I was hospitalized and told by the doctors that I had to go home, pack and leave my mother's home or the stress would kill me.
I did what I was told and I am living with a younger sister, while my older sister still lives at home and hired an IN HOME CAREGIVER for Mom. My panic and anxiety is severe however and it only seems to be getting worse. Going back to Mom's house is not an option as it gets worse when I am there.
I have only been gone since the 18th of April but I AM HORRIFIED OF BEING HOME ALONE. HORRIFIED. My sister gets home at about 8 pm and her kids are out of school at about 2pm and my daughter goes to school until 9pm at the local college.
This summer I am going to be home alone all day long. I cannot handle this and I am absolutely horrified! I honestly feel like I am going to go crazy as I feel like I am close to that anyway at this point!
I have Medicare and Medi Cal and I live in California and I really need some honest to God help!
I never thought loving my mother enough to stay home and take care of her would lead to this but I am literally out of my mind with fear!!! I am on Ativan to sleep and Xanax. I take Holy Basil for calmness but it feels like I am about ready to pull out my hair and run screaming down the street.
I was suppose to be Mom's POA but there is no way I can handle anything feeling like I do.
Is there help for caregivers who have burned out? I literally need an IN HOME CAREGIVER for myself at this point. Please point me towards help before I can no longer handle this! PLEASE HELP ME!!!!