I am trying to get my siblings to help with caregiving, but the objection is that I am being paid to do it.

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Magmarconis,
You already know the cost is more than anything you receive, so don't sell yourself short. Your mother wants you to have the money.....allow her to pay you. Good of you to care for her. Your mother wants your care and not your sibling's for a reason. Your mother knows their character or lack thereof. Her judgement is obviously quite sound.
I would suggest you draw up a written agreement with your mother and HAVE IT NOTARIZED!!!!! It will be a legal document and your siblings will have nothing to say about it. Send them copies if they give you a hard time.
I'm sorry you have been placed in the position of having to protect your mother from them, but she is counting on you.
GOD's divine protection to you.
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Honey, the sister who said she wouldn't accept money is clueless or a liar. Get a quote or two from assisted living facilities and send them to her so she gets a touch of reality. Finally, since your Mom is happiest with you and obviously has enough income that she is not hurting by giving some to you, tell Sis to shut her trap. I'm sure your Mom realizes that especially now, the money she contributes to the household is important. It is no ones business but yours and your Mom's. It seems like a relationship with you and your sister is not that important and not worth your grief.
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Unfortunately, I am kind of in a bind right now, when my Mom moved in I told her she did not have to give me that much money, but insisted to give me her social security check. A year after she moved in my husband lost his job of 20 years, so now the problem is I do need it to maintain the utilities and food for the house. It is not her only income she also receives a monthly pension and my sisters recently sold her house. A savings account has been set up for a monthly amount from an annunity from the proceeds from the sale of her house going into a savings with all of our names on it, with my Mom as POA. It addition she also has another annunity of about $200,000. that they will benefit from. I guess my delemia is not that I want her money, but unfortunately right now I need to to survive in the house. I work in underwriting residential mortgages so am very aware of the market for selling real estate and unfortunately would lose about $70,000. if I sold the home I bought three years ago today. I 'm sure they are aware of my financial issues, but were "up in arms" when they found out she was paying for expenses, they said it was too much. My Mom's accountant in a discreet way mentioned how much it would cost for her care elsewhere to try to make them understand because, he took care of his mother and knows what it is like. The other issue is, I try to get my Mom to go for a ride for the day to see my sister that lives 45 minutes away when we were visiting his sister who lived close to her, but she does not want to go. The only place she will go with me is to my son's house (I guess she feels comfortable there) she goes in and lay's on his couch, just like at my house. And she will go with me to get a pedicurre and manicure, but that is it. I could certainly use a break. Everytime she talks to me from work she asks me what time I will be home, so I try to spend as much time as possible with her so she won't be lonely. My realtionship with two of my three sisters has become very distant after one of them attached me about accepting the money from my Mom. She said she would not have accepted it. Any other suggestions anyone has is much appreciated. Thanks
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Magmarconis - I read your story too. Randall is right: call their bluff. $1,800 a month is reasonable, in fact a bargain, for a place to live, food, utilities, care and rides to the doctor. Do not feel guilty about taking that especially since it was your mom who said she wanted to pay you even more! If the siblings feel that you are taking advantage, they need to take her for a few months.
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I read your entire story and it seems like you have two choices.
1) Ignore them and tell them it's none of their damn business as long as you are doing total care for Mom.
2) (a bluff tactic) Tell them you will be happy to bring Mom over immediately and they can have access to all of her money while they look after her 24/7
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Sounds to me like some sort of shared time schedule needs to be instututed. If a sibling thinks it is so easy let them try it for awhile. They should be sharing in the care anyway, and not just with money. Time is money too.
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