I'm still here.....in a prison without bars!
My crazy life continues taking care of my mother. A grown man reduced to a prisoner, controlled by the life I was born into. Is it odd....absolutely! Is is strange.....totally! Is it crazy.....yes it is! If by chance I get to get away by myself for an hour.....it is such a relief. It rejuvenates me for a short while. I know my life is not a 'healthy' life, but like the song says.....'i'm caught in a trap, i can't get out'! Yes, I want to care for my mother, but why does it have to be this crazy? If all sons and daughters did what I did......there would be many unwed and unemployed people around. Just picture people saying, "I can't go to college and get married because my father died when I was 15 and I have to care for my mother the rest of her life". It's crazy! Picture staying in the house almost the entire day. We might take a ride out the road for an hour or so and then come home. I have to be a constant guardian to my mother and trust me.....it gets old real fast. As I've said in a previous post, I never cared about marriage, but does that mean I had to have this lifestyle. What about my life? Is it fair to me? My life is on hold and I'm getting older. Where do caregivers draw the line? Do we sacrifice our lives so that another could have a life? That is what I'm doing. Is it crazy.....yes it is....very much so. Sometimes I ask myself......why me! My sister who live out of the area offer no help. No one knows but me what I go through.