My 84 year old dad had 4 strokes last year and has lived with us since then. He'll be moving back to his own apartment soon. At his request, I have assumed control of his finances and caretaking or coordination of his caretaking. I am also the executor of his estate. The way it's set up, I will likely be managing it for the remainder of my life. It will be divided among my siblings and me, but I'll manage it. That means I'll file 4 sets of taxes, and approve and write checks (or not) at their request. I am currently managing his accounts, but barely scraping by on a teacher's salary. It is all just so mind boggling. My neck and shoulders are growing tense as I write this. I'm terrified. I'm a single mom of 3 (2 adults, 1 high schooler), and a teacher. I have 3 siblings who I grow more resentful toward everyday. Until 5 years ago we had what seemed in many ways like a Norman Rockwell family. My parents had this amazing home where they hosted so many special events for our ever growing family. They were pillars of the community, and envied by many. Then my mom got ill, and I realized it was all a sham. She was so ill before she died... I didn't know people could get that ill. We had a full time caretaker for her at their home during the week, but I helped on the weekends. If my brothers even answered my very infrequent requests for help, it was usually to tell me they couldn't help. Now that it's my dad who's ill, it's even worse. I get that not everyone is cut out for caregiving, but to show up and enjoy every Christmas, birthday, etc. at my parents home, and revel in what they created for us, then all but turn your back on them when they're ill, is truly vulgar to me. My kids and I have been handling my parents decline/death, on our own. I'm the primary caregiver, but when I can't do it, my kids dress his wounds, take him to dialysis, listen with endless patience as he tries to enunciate words (he is aphasic)...I was proud of them before, but they have truly knocked my socks off with the way they've handled all of this. As a teacher, I have about 450 students. I'm struggling with how to manage all of this, and still have a life. My dad is paying for everything, but there is still a huge emotional and physical toll to all of this, mostly on me. There are no texts, phone calls, or emails even checking up on us. I'm the one who is providing the organizational structure and emotional and logistical support for my dad and youngest son. My other 2 kids are just starting out, and so reach out to me frequently for advice and help. I want to be part of their lives!!! But I am being stretched in so many directions... I'm afraid I'm going to wake up soon, and my dad will be gone, my kids will be off and married, and I'll be alone because I didn't have time to make a life for me. And frankly I'm so angry that my siblings don't ever say 'hey, let me take dad out to lunch,' or 'go get yourself a manicure,' or 'wow, you're a rock star, we're really lucky to have you doing all of this for our family!' My kids are doing great, my dad has come much further than anyone thought possible, and I am gaining weight and looking old. I feel like such a loser to be in this position.