I need to know if a social worker is a good or bad thing?

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Hi angels.
Thank you for all your beautiful support! It helps, and makes me feel a little less alone)))
I have a question. The home health nurse (who I really do not care for) said if I can't take my husband to a doctor appointment she could call in a social worker. Let me explain. He is in a memory care facility. They have little shuttles that you have to book 2 weeks in advance, to go to your doctor's appts. This nurse who sees him every 4 weeks for cathader changes told me on the phone last Sunday that it was a priority that he be seen by his primary care doc. I made the appointment for today yesterday I called the home and they said."sorry the bus is booked good-bye" why are they being so cruel?
It hurts. I know if I go pick him up he will be mean nasty and when we get to the clinic, he will be yelling at me calling me hurtful names, and the worst thing, will refuse to leave the car when, or, if I can get him back to the home. That place where he is residing has seen him do this. It's very stressful, embarressing, and he could cause an accident. Back to my question, when the nurse told me she would bring in a social worker, who is benefiting from it? Or is she trying to threaten me?
I have been lied to much, I'm having a hard time with trusting anyone right now. Thank you! And I hope everyone's day is going well!

7 Comments

I'm surprised that they don't have better services at a memory care facility. I would look around to see if there might be a better one for the money. As it is now, I would try to take him to see the doctor. Do you have anyone who could go with you? That would make driving safer and could have a calming influence (two against one :).
BTW, a social worker is usually a good thing. They can help you locate services. I guess in some instances it could be bad. I can't understand what is going on at the facility and why the nurse only comes by every four weeks to change catheters. This is unusual. Does he have some infection from the catheterization?
What would the social worker do? Bring him to the doctor? Help find other services to accomplish that?

Having a social worker assigned to his case could be a good thing. I certainly hope this wasn't used as a threat! It should be an additional service, since caring for someone with dementia is such a huge sad burden and all help should be provided.

I would definitely not try to transport him on your own. Maybe you could do it with help, but trying it alone sounds like asking for trouble.

Find out what role the social worker worker would have.
His insurance pays for the RN to come in every 5 weeks to change the foley cathedar. It has to be changed or risk infection. I was there on sunday when she came, and thats because I called the home health and complained about them not notifying me when they went to my husbands facility. The reason that is happening is because my husband went crazy the first week he was there when he was told it was time to go to t he urologists to get it chabged out. I was there at the time and tried to get him out to the car, and he became combative, angry, and totally refused to go. That is when i called the doctor, who ok'd home health to come to the facility to have it done. He seemed fine when I was there on sunday. Then all of a sudden she calls me (the RN) and says she is concerned about his complaint of chest pain. And says I should make it my priority to make the appt. And if i cant take him she can bring in a social worker. Everything that has happened lately, makes me feel, well, targeted. It sounded like a threat. I called the facility and she was rude, and told me the bus that takes the residents to doc appts was full. And btw tell us 2 weeks in advance. S I many things i was not aware of and hidden charges. I called an elder law attorney yesterday that will get back to me in 3 business days, bc i cant handle the lies and crud. And also the ombudsman never followed up. I really really hate to say this, but I cant trust that place anymore. I would welcome a social worker with open arms, but i am not sure if that is what the RN meant? I have a huge stomach ache from all of this. I wish my little girl kitty was still here. She gave GREAT hugs!! (
Bring on the Social Worker, in my opinion. If your husband has chest pains, 911 should be called.

Perhaps the SW could advise on whether your husband needs a higher level of care. Perhaps he is actually in need of a nursing home with a dementia unit.

You can hire medical transport. I use an ambulette service when my mom needs to be gotten from the nh to a specialist.

Is he being seen by the geriatric psychiatrist who comes to the facility? Perhaps antianxiety meds for "appointment day" are in order.
Kixx, I was re-reading some of your old posts. Someone brought up the idea of having a public guardian appointed for your husband. I'm wondering if that might be an idea you'd consider.

It sounds as though this situation is ending your ability to have any kind of life. You're very young not to be working, saving for your retirement and looking after your own health. The ins and outs of finding appropriate care for your husband appear to be somewhat overwhelming for you.

This might be something you could discuss with the Social Worker.
All the time social worker is a good thing which helps you at anytime.

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