I know it's hard dealing with parents who are mean and cusses and fights.

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But my mother don't talk and sits in wheel chair all day long. I'm taking her home to enjoy the day we have left. She was a little busy before going in a nursing home and when she stop walking we had to put her in one. But now that I can retire early I'm going to get my mom and enjoy these last days, because you don't know how long you are going to have them. She could have kill you but she gave you life.

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We all have to decide what is best for us. LoLolewis, please let us know how it is going with you. I know it will be hard, because your mother is not walking. With help, though, you can enjoy time together. What you wrote made me think about one of the profiles in The Alzheimer Project series. It was a person, Cliff Holman, from Alabama. He was in late-stage Alzheimer's and could not walk or talk, but he seemed very content. His wife kept him at home. I know for them, having him stay home was right. At least it seemed that way. We each have to decide what will be best for our loved ones and ourselves. Good thoughts coming your way.
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LoLo , if you take her home and try to care for her, you'll be dead before she is. Enjoy your days, visit often, but let the professionals carry the burden and save the joys for yourself.
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Franque, we went through the " I want Jesus to come and get me now" phase by having the MD prescribe an anxiolytic twice a day. The martyr phase you have to simply ignore or it gets worse. We remind her that at 86, every day is a gift from God. We remind her that lots of elders are worse off than she is. I am so glad you have sense enough not to move in! So many do that and go out of their minds in six months..
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Moving her might not be the best thing for her. I just wanted to mention that and have you think about it. Good luck.
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Didn't realize how my mother(83) with dementia can bring one down so quickly. I stay with her as much as I can or cant stand. She's very headstrong & feels she can do no wrong & never has done wrong. She has about 4 different personalities: #1- pretty normal #2- the martyr #3- fighting mode #4- cussing/swearing JC/GD mode. (that's the worst when it's am all day thing).
It's hard to bite my tongue & not fight back & say really nasty things I'm thinking to myself...of which would be to no avail - she wouldn't remember any of it anyway. My bros & sis want me to move in w/her & sell my condo (20 min away from her assisted living apt since I am no longer married & no kids). No can do. I HAVE to give myself some breathing room & calm down so I don't say or do something I will regret. The upside: It's another life lesson for me & I will learn something from it. I am not of strong religion, however; the Man upstairs is truly giving me strength. Good luck to all of you going thru sad situations. It is a learning tool.
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Thank everyone for their kind words of knowledge and support. I looking into having someone pick her up 3 days a week and I'll work part time and have time for myself. God is the head of our lives and I belive he will make a way. I do have three siblings living close in case of emergecy.
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Remember to write here exactly want you want people to understand the FIRST time. If you make a mistake, to bad it cannot be deleted. If it can be deleted after 2 hours looking to, I can't find a way. Something fishy about that I think.
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You are blessed to love your mother so much.
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Oh boy!! Good luck you'll need it...
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My mom lives with us.She's 93, going strong and is often bad tempered over her inability to accept the ravages of time. I use an old horse trainer's trick to diffuse her anger. I redirect. If she starts a fight I ask if she wants ice cream or I point to the window and ask "what's that?" well, you get the picture.
Look into HOME HEALTH visitors/nurses that can help you with bathing and other work you will face caring for mom at home.
It's more demanding than it's looks.
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