I know it's hard dealing with parents who are mean and cusses and fights.

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But my mother don't talk and sits in wheel chair all day long. I'm taking her home to enjoy the day we have left. She was a little busy before going in a nursing home and when she stop walking we had to put her in one. But now that I can retire early I'm going to get my mom and enjoy these last days, because you don't know how long you are going to have them. She could have kill you but she gave you life.

11 Comments

I wish you the very best as you undertake this journey with your mother.

While you are preparing to care for her yourself, set up a regular schedule of respite for you, and look into what kind of in-home care she could have. It is a big burden to care for someone with mobility problems and also dementia all alone. Try to hire out the things that don't require your loving care, like housekeeping or laundry or yard work, etc. You'll have your hands full with just Mom's care.

Please post often and let us know how things are going.
My mom lives with us.She's 93, going strong and is often bad tempered over her inability to accept the ravages of time. I use an old horse trainer's trick to diffuse her anger. I redirect. If she starts a fight I ask if she wants ice cream or I point to the window and ask "what's that?" well, you get the picture.
Look into HOME HEALTH visitors/nurses that can help you with bathing and other work you will face caring for mom at home.
It's more demanding than it's looks.
Oh boy!! Good luck you'll need it...



You are blessed to love your mother so much.
Remember to write here exactly want you want people to understand the FIRST time. If you make a mistake, to bad it cannot be deleted. If it can be deleted after 2 hours looking to, I can't find a way. Something fishy about that I think.
Thank everyone for their kind words of knowledge and support. I looking into having someone pick her up 3 days a week and I'll work part time and have time for myself. God is the head of our lives and I belive he will make a way. I do have three siblings living close in case of emergecy.
Didn't realize how my mother(83) with dementia can bring one down so quickly. I stay with her as much as I can or cant stand. She's very headstrong & feels she can do no wrong & never has done wrong. She has about 4 different personalities: #1- pretty normal #2- the martyr #3- fighting mode #4- cussing/swearing JC/GD mode. (that's the worst when it's am all day thing).
It's hard to bite my tongue & not fight back & say really nasty things I'm thinking to myself...of which would be to no avail - she wouldn't remember any of it anyway. My bros & sis want me to move in w/her & sell my condo (20 min away from her assisted living apt since I am no longer married & no kids). No can do. I HAVE to give myself some breathing room & calm down so I don't say or do something I will regret. The upside: It's another life lesson for me & I will learn something from it. I am not of strong religion, however; the Man upstairs is truly giving me strength. Good luck to all of you going thru sad situations. It is a learning tool.
Moving her might not be the best thing for her. I just wanted to mention that and have you think about it. Good luck.
Franque, we went through the " I want Jesus to come and get me now" phase by having the MD prescribe an anxiolytic twice a day. The martyr phase you have to simply ignore or it gets worse. We remind her that at 86, every day is a gift from God. We remind her that lots of elders are worse off than she is. I am so glad you have sense enough not to move in! So many do that and go out of their minds in six months..
LoLo , if you take her home and try to care for her, you'll be dead before she is. Enjoy your days, visit often, but let the professionals carry the burden and save the joys for yourself.

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