Need Encouragement.

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I lost my mom two days ago and this is the hardest thing I have EVER had to go through. Momma had been sick since the first of june, she was 82 had to have an abcessed kidney removed had a feeding tube was cripple from a previous stroke, she was on bypap the last few days, I know she is not hurting or anything now cause I have a strong religious belief of what happens at death. I guess I just need to hear from people who have gone through this to know how to handle all the grief and emotions I feel. I feel guilt for not doing more, anger for not doing enough, missing her so very much. Any help is appreciated.


Everything you are feeling is normal... saddly... when my mom died I felt as tho I had lost my anchor to the earth... I know for many days I was simply numb or the grief would wash over me like a tidal wave... the world didn't even look the same to me... my mom was gone....
And like you, I know she was no longer in pain, no longer suffering, but how was I supposed to breathe again... how was I supposed to even move forward...
but we do, and you will.... it takes time, and no two people grieve the same... so take it easy if you can... rest as much as you can... and feel what you need to feel... think about the good times.. laugh about the silly times together, and remember that she has experianced something we haven't.... I miss her still, more as I get older... need her wisdom... but I wouldn't wish her back her, God needed another Angel... just as He needed your mom.... and you are not alone... I am sure many will post.. some here have lost parents and will have things to share with you.... sending you hugs, sending you strength, sending you more hugs...
Lillian, God bless your Mom and you. Please consider a grief support group, many houses of worship have such groups and it is helpful to know that everything you feel is normal. I'll add your intention to our book at church tomorrow so I hope you will feel lightened by all of my religious community sending their prayers up to the heavens for you and your Mom. Blessings to you.
Lillian41, So sorry for your loss and keep the faith. My words here are all I can do to comfort you. I am not sure what to say though but one thing keeps entering my mind.... It's my Mom's voice saying to me "Go home and worry about your own problems." She is still living, but in a NH with dementia and when she say's this to me, I translate it in this way... "Don't worry about me, you have a life too and you should live it." When she say's this to me the staff looks at me in AWWW, I look back and say... "THAT MEANS SHE LOVES ME and I SMILE!" I guess what I am trying to say is your Mom knows you did all you could for her and I don't think a mother ever wants their child to see them suffer. She's in a better place now and she is no longer suffering and she's at peace now. God Bless
I am so sorry for your loss. May all your happy memories soon bring you comfort.

Give yourself time. You just lost your Mother two days ago. It is too soon to even worry about anything past the immediate day. Just take really good care of yourself each and every day and let the feelings happen. Sounds like you took very good care of your Mom and that is all any of us can do. Wish I had an answer for the feelings of guilt...coulda.. woulda..shoulda..only causes us more pain and changes nothing. Finding a grief support group is a great idea and finding something to do for others is sometimes the best thing we can do for ourselves. God bless!

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