"How was your Easter?" they'll ask at work tomorrow.

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And I'll say, oh, very nice, and yours? Or should I tell them the truth about how my mom's boyfriend and I arrived, planning to take her to a restaurant, but turns out she has a horrible bedsore and is screaming in pain. She has two 24/7 aides who take 3 - 4 nights, respectively. The more experienced aide, who is almost a RN, had just arrived for her shift and is upset with the other one, who is a newbie, and I guess didn't notice or know how to tend to the sore.


So, I call my mom's doctor on Easter and she tells the aide exactly how to dress the wound, etc. She says we don't have to take her to the ER unless it's bleeding or she has a fever, which it isn't and she doesn't. The nurse is coming tomorrow, so that's good. Taking her to the ER in NYC would be extremely stressful for her, so really had to weigh risks and benefits.


In the midst of all this, her boyfriend and I somehow almost came to blows over politics. He's the best guy, a real mensch, so devoted to her but, gah! I wanted to hit him over the head with a chair. Fortunately, we were able to agree to disagree, sort of, and focus on my poor mom, who is in pain. He sang her a love song. Under normal circumstances, she would have thrown him out the door for his politcal views. They used to fight about their political differences constantly. Now, she's very mild and wasn't even paying attention to our argument.


Anyway, I went home. He's staying overnight. I feel she's in good hands with her aide and nurse is coming tomorrow. But, darn, I didn't even have a jellybean today!

11 Comments

xina, wish I could send the Easter bunny your way with some special treats. It sounds like you had the best intentions for a good day for your mother, but things went south fast.

I know what you mean about the politic thing. I don't say anything when I'm go anywhere, because I'm a blue grain of sand on a red beach. I've actually had people start in on me for saying I like Obama and that I voted for Clinton. Feelings run that strong, so I usually keep my thoughts to myself.
I feel for you. All we can really do is lie and say it was nice. Being a caregiver for an aging parent is a 365 day a year job- an it seems we are always on red alert. On a good note jellybeans will be marked down tomorrow so go buy a bag and indulge yourself a little :)
I didn't even know it was Easter until the day before and today we almost had to go to emergency but then we didn't I live for sleep
Xina, is the bedsore maybe why mom has not wanted to sit in the wheelchair? It must be a very recent thing, because just last week you posted that her skin had been checked stem to stern and there were no problems.

I work in a very small office, so when there are goings on, I actually tell them what the deal is with my mom. We work in an open room, so they already hear everything I say to the NH!
Hugs, Xinabess. It is especially unfair when a day is *meant* to be nice and turns into a three-ring nightmare instead.

With those people who aren't really asking and just expect you to say "oh fine thanks how was yours" just say smilingly "how was yours?" - purely because life is too short to bother and let's face it they won't be listening anyway so they won't notice you didn't answer.

Poor mother, I'm so sorry for her soreness. Yowch.

My ex came out with the most extraordinary political assertion all of a sudden at lunch yesterday. It was so clichéd and so controversial that it brought me up short, and I repeated it in my head, and concluded that he was deliberately trying to start a fight. Fortunately nobody else seemed to have heard - or else perhaps they'd come to the same conclusion - so nobody responded. And that worked brilliantly!
I, too, might have some awkwardness with The Easter Question. Yesterday, I had the most enjoyable Major Holiday I've had in years....because sig other and I enacted a gentle "family boycott."

He and I (miraculously) agreed that careening from one house to another and/or hosting the motley crew of "takers" is a celebration of nothing except our own stupidity. So voila! Our Easter was a day of peace and relaxation.

Beautiful weather, so a nature walk in the morning. Delicious pastries for brunch. Leisurely reading in the afternoon. Visited a Thai bistro for dinner. Capped off the evening with a movie.

Not one iota of my time, money, energy or sanity devoted to people who are draining. Yay!
Black hole liked one million times!
Easter was a non event/non-holiday for us. My husband has been out of town for a couple of weeks so I am left to hold down the fort by myself. I decided to start a new trend... White Easter Eggs! I got as far as boiling eggs but never got around to dying them. I did manage to put together baskets for the kids because the littlest one is still a believer. Yes, at age 12, she still believes. I am not going to be the one to break it to her but life will get easier when she knows.

Never got an invite tot he In-Laws Easter family dinner and was greatly relived because I didn't want to go and didn't want to make yet another excuse. (I love my in-laws but can't stand brining Mom and had no one to leave her with)

Mom spared the weekday caregivers from dealing with any BMs and then spent the weekend with me blowing up the bathroom.. and that was the times we were lucky enough to remember to ask to go to the bathroom in time. Loads of laundry which I left in the dryer for the caregivers to fold today.

Easter dinner? Well, I ran out to the grocery store at 6PM, bought some random stuff, cooked it and threw it on the table.

And, when my co-workers ask "very nice, how was yours?"
Didn't celebrate Easter, either.... it was the first one without both my parents. Last year I ate with my Dad at his Senior facility [they had really good meals].

So today was just like any other day, I was glued to Ancestry . com. Figured out how to load photos onto the site... did a happy dance.

Then my sig other grown children called asking what we were going to do today. Nothing. The conversations were very short because I just can't hear them very well when they call using their cellphones :(

Oh we did order-out from Olive Garden. Meal was ready in 20 minutes to be picked up. Now that was easy :)
Fortunately, the sore is better today and nurse is on her way. Barb, I do think my mom's butt hurts in the chair even when there isn't a full-on sore. So sad.

I regret provoking my mom's BF re politics. When will I learn that there is no point in trying to get through to someone, esp these days? I like to think I will never go there again with him or my few relatives who agree with him.

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