I'm concerned with taking care of husband and doing a ton of the work he used to do outside etc. We went to our daughter's out west and it was over the top busy but great to be with them. But I'm finding myself since we got back thinking today is a different day. Forgetting what day it is. I'm scared half to death I might be in beginning stage of dementia that would be a nightmare being my husband's caregiver. I got done with my job last April and work out of the home once in a while with appointments, I told a woman I could tomorrow, but I would check when I get home (I was shopping, had respite) and realized I'm on the wrong day. Then last night set my alarm thinking today was Monday. It's Sunday...

This may not be your problem, but just in case…. My MIL went through the same day/date issue aged 90, and the same worries. When I checked her hanging calendar, I found that the day/date was below the box it referred to, but actually in the box for the same day of the week but a week later. I took down the calendar and got her a new one. She stopped having the problem. I wrote to the publisher of the calendar, and they replied thanking me, saying that they had not expected that mistake, and they would not do it again. They sent MIL a nice little box of note-lets! So it’s worth checking all the ‘systems’ you have, to make sure that they are a help rather than a hindrance. As we get older we all rely on things like notes and lists to help our memories.
Helpful Answer (9)
Reply to MargaretMcKen

I would first consider stress and what my doctor calls "change anxiety". We had a home disaster in our old place after we moved out and were getting ready to put it up for sale and had to file an insurance claim, then the move and putting things in different places and the adjustment to a new community. MIL is getting more concerning and may need surgery at 88, we are her only caregivers, she refuses to consider AL won't leave her home, and now hubby is being pushed into early retirement because of disfunctional situations at his company....I find myself also forgetting things like what day it is and names, yet I can remember the birthdate of several of my elementary school chums..This gets worse as more info comes at you. I battle this situation of too many concerns and changes with daily and weekly lists of what needs to be done, and several easy to read calendars in the house. Try making lists and getting rest. You sound like you have alot going on at once and this can cause forgetfulness.
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Reply to Katie22

I went through something similar and told my doctor I was afraid I was showing beginning signs of dementia like my mother. Doctor told me to take B12 sublingual (under the tongue) and Vitamin D morning and night. I had dramatic improvement. Coworkers noticed.
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Reply to Mjlarkan
lablover64 Oct 30, 2018
I think I might try that. Can't hurt. I am very worried because my mother, her father and my father's sister and mother all have had dementia/Alzheimer's and I am so worried that I will end up with it. I try to read and do word puzzles every day and I still work full time, so I'm doing my best to keep my mind active but can you fight heredity?
Stress plays a big part with memory.
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Reply to JoAnn29

Don’t worry, more than likely it is from stress and not enough rest, it can be from a vitamin D shortage. If you are able to hire someone to take care of the work outside or at least the bare minimum of it. If you have family or friends perhaps they would be willing to do the grass for you. I recommend getting a clock that is made for Alzheimer’s patients it has the day of the week along with the date and time, I find it invaluable to me. I also have a large calendar in my kitchen that I can’t miss seeing and I mark the days off of it. Hang in there and hugs to you!
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Reply to Glendaj2

You’re suffering from caregiver burnout & coming back from the West...with the time change. Don’t worry....with all the daily chores/tasks I have...I have to resort to reminder notes or to do lists ...Also get a good night sleep & try to eat healthy. Hugs 🤗
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Reply to CaregiverL

I have to laugh, I do the same thing. I started doing it after I retired, being so busy and having a Monday thru Friday job kept me oriented. Once that was gone, so was my reality with what day it was.

One time I was planning Saturday outing and so looking forward to tomorrow and my husband was like, its Tuesday. What? You mean I lost a whole weekend and Monday?

So, I think getting used to retirement and caregiver burnout can cause lapses in memory.

Hugs and God bless you.
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Reply to Isthisrealyreal

Suz have you ever heard that you need to care for yourself before you take care of others? From your profile you are caring for your husband and for your mom.

You are on overload and need to find your, YOUR, own life preserver. I cared for my mom and stepdad for four years. When they went to a facility it took a full seven months to feel like I was getting my own mind back. Now it has been 3.5 years since and I still feel at times like I am losing it. You need to take care of you, find other solutions for mom and husband or you may be joining them.

Stress does effect brain function and health in general. So take care of you, it is past time!
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Reply to gladimhere
SuzyQ22 Oct 28, 2018
We were taking care of his parents for 5 year they passed and we moved a year later and in our camp/home within a couple years my husband came down with his dementia ,so i had little break ,but thanks for making me feel normal whatever that is LOL
Three years ago I gave up the hobby of sleeping. Previously a consistent 7 hour a night gal, I went to 4 or 5.
The choice at that time was to put my newborn grandson, who was born with a disability, into daycare, or become half time daycare for him.
In addition, I have since become a care giver/errand runner/servicesarranger/whatever is needed for a cherished 90 yo relative with dementia who is in a local AL
I could testify in court-YES, STRESS DOES IMPACT ON MEMORY.
Don’t rule out getting paid help, speaking to a therapist, sharing your situation with close associates, getting pleasant, mindless exercise and fresh air, writing things down on paper or into a smart phone, using electronic gadgets if they help, getting a massage or an adjustment from a chiropractor.... and also, making your own PERSONAL list of good deeds to perform for YOU while you do the very good deed of putting your husband first.
None of these have “fixed” my struggles, but they ARE helping me to cherish my 2 1/2 yo AND my 90 yo charges and at the same time develop an improved perspective on managing my personal worries and forgetting, and figuring out where I fit into this daily circus that presently occupies so much of my life.
Good thoughts, prayers, and pats on the back to you!
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Reply to AnnReid

This kind of thing seems to be the norm rather than the exception.
I personally usually need to check the date. My solution is to keep a date book in my purse and immediately write down any appointments. The other annoying thing that happens is transposing letters and numbers.
As my physical health deteriorated these problems became worse and in the weeks since we moved till my husband died suddenly the stress became tangible and I felt as though I had PTSD. Of course I miss him terribly or at least the man he used to be but he gave me three beautiful caring children.
It has been verytressfull sorting out the estate because nothing was in order and just cancelling a credit card can cause requests for all kinds of paper work.
Now I just feel relieved that it is mostly over and like an onion that is having the outer layers of stress peeled away.
Don't worry about dementia.
Healing Hugs
My caregiver and DD were thinking I was depressed because i sometome just sit and do nothing. They wanted more meds but my Dr was reluctant which was good.
Now I try and make lists for everything and at least double check any numbers I enter.
L my caregiver thinks I am doing better this week but what everyone seems to fail to realize that at almost 80 it takes far longer to recover from stressful situations and there has to be time when you can just sit and think.
Not ready to resume hobbies I enjoy or go out nd socialize. never was one for that anyway and the idea of senior centers appalls me. I would much prefer to be hanging out with the horses in DD's barn
Helpful Answer (5)
Reply to Veronica91
mally1 Oct 31, 2018
So Veronica, can you go hang out with the horses? Even though I don't ride mine anymore, it's comforting to be with them... You've had a really bad time, but it sounds as if you're coming around (does that help?). Don't let others push you, go at the pace that's comfortable for you - bet you'll be back writing funny comments here soon - some of them had me in hysterics, my hubby, too! God bless, sweetie....
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