My 94 year old dad is showing signs of dementia. We believe our Mom was covering, knowingly or not, for him for awhile. She passed a year ago. Do we need 'proof' to seek assistance?

You don't need any proof to apply for some aasistance which I assume means some form of home care. What you need to do is schedule a visit with his PCP and have him screened for dementia. There's no way you yourself can determine the difference.
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Reply to sjplegacy

If this is new and sudden it could be a urinary tract infection. Get him to his doc, make sure his legal documents are complete.

A geriatric specialist doc at this stage of his life would be best. The family docs just are not as well versed in elder medical practice.

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Reply to gladimhere

If you are his PoA, and depending on what is included in the PoA language, you may not need a formal diagnosis to know when you can engage your representative authority. If you require "proof" then you'll know you must have it first. Don't give yourself more work than necessary. As far as seeking assistance, do you mean for in-home help? Or financial for his medical bills, like Medicaid? You can call in social services for his county to do an in-home assessment for help. In my state/county it did not require any sort of diagnosis, just a lack of abilities to carry out ADLs More info would be helpful.
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Reply to Geaton777

We had a very comfortable and confident result with a cognitive/psychiatric assessment done by a specialist in GERIATRIC Psychiatry.

Do some googling to find a local specialist trained in this very specific field. A very good assessment can also be done by a social worker or psychologist, but you need to be working with someone who can prescribe medication if necessary.

You may be able todo without proof of his conditions, it you will have more confidence in ongoing decision making with a professional, objective opinion.

My LO had SEVERE anxiety and depression, but she was also terrified as her realization became more apparent to her that something was wrong with her.

The very gentle therapist who assessed her guided through her evaluation without embarrassing or challenging her. After the assessment had taken place, she conferenced with me to add to her understanding of my LO’s past.

The process was very painful for me, but I have always been grateful to those who were so helpful to me AND to LO.

I hope you find helpful answers to your questions and are able to move forward to get help for Dad.
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Reply to AnnReid

What kind of assistance are you seeking? Has your father been living alone? Are there signs this is now unsafe for him? Does he have family support in area? Is all his paperwork for POA completed and is he capable of paying his bills, doing so and etc? We need more info re symptoms you notice.
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Reply to AlvaDeer

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