he served in the army , but not a war, so i dont think he can go to the va, we cant afford for him at a home, unless they sell everything, i dont know why the va wont help, he still was in the army, whether a war or not, he served his country, what do i do for the future, i am so lost, and im all on my own.

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If your father was in the service during wartime, even if he was not in combat or in the war zone, he may qualify for Aid & Attendance benefit. Also, go to your States website and find out the procedure for applying for Medicaid & I would get an Elder Law attorney to help with applying for it.
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Check out the Assisted Living facility they will help. Talk to those in the office there as they will be able to help. If you are serious call your Elder help line in your state. Explain the situation. Also talk to the Elder Attorney. Also does a family member have that has Power of Attorney? Also what happened to your Mother when she was actually hit by a car or in a car that was hit by another car? Talk to her doctor... Who is it that your Mother does listen to?
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I know I sound like a real B. Our problem is the investments my mom and Dad have. The Edler Attorney told her what to spend them on so she could qualify for anything. The social worker when dad was released from rehab also explained in great detail.My mom is very emotionally and verbally abusive to my dad.My mom also has left him alone That is why I am here. She did well caring for dad tell she was hit by a car.She is overwhelmed understandable so.My dad was a quarter back he is huge pysically she cant do it.
She refuses to spend money for anything..
I wish dad could go to a day care however his medical issues are many he has no colon and must use the bathroom several times a day he is very unsteady he has little use of his hands and requires assistance in just about everything.
I try to take dad out but his heart is also very bad and he also has lung issues he says it to very exhausting and doesnt want to use the wheel chair.
The last walk we took thank goodness my son was there he was so weak he almost collasped.
I want my dad to pass in his home with dignity.
I am becoming concerned about my own health I have back problems.I need to go to work to plan for my golden years. If she would qualify for Medicaid we have cash and couseling in MI.It woyld ease my money concerns and I could afford to stay til dad passes.I have 2 brothers one by the way is a nurse.They visit once in a while.
I love mom and dad so much but I feel I am being taken advantage here.I have the patience of Jobe but I am just getting so very tierd
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Assisted Livings have what is called Respite Care like maybe a week. Also the Assisted Livings have "Day Care". I have a friend that takes her husband to an Assisted Living like 9:30 till 4:30 three days a week.
I hope that you went to the meeting with the Elder Attorney with your Mother.
Make a time like a morning after breakfast is possibly the better time and get the papers and sit with your Mother and help her fill them out. She can not do all this alone with worry and stress....
I hope that your Father goes outside everyday if only for 20 minutes or so.. You can get a caregiver to come in and help them 3 hrs twice a week. The caregiver could do light house keeping, fix lunch for them, do dishes, wash clothes, change bed linen....
If your Father served during the time our country was at war then he is entitled to Aid & Attendance. You can check his DD214 for the dates he served. You can google the dates we have been at war. The VA will never charge to help you to fill out paper work. I am sure your Elder Attorney knows this. Be kind to your Mom and yourself as this is hard to make decisions on everyone.
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Dad was just denied VA benefits. My mom cannot care for dad alone.I moved back in with them inJune til we could figure something out
I urged my mom to start planning ahead for I need to go back to work. She was dragging her feet.Having just been through this with my beloved Aunt I was aware of the insane cost of getting sick and old. It is now April I am living on a small pension and need to go back to work.Last month I demanded she see an Edler Attorney.To see how they could get dad on Medicaid.With Medicate and Hap his medicine copays will eventually leave them broke. He told her what she needed to do. PLAN now read what you can on Edler Law and see an Edler Attorney.My mom wants a secomd opinion
I told her she is again dragging her feet she has 30 days to get the ball rolling for I have no intention on residing in the poor house with her.It is so sad and wrong we have to worry about out living our money
Good Luck to you.
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