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My mom passed away in March at her assisted living facility. She did not show any signs of the Corona virus, so it appeared to be something unexpected and sudden. (She looked as if she had been sleeping in her chair.) It was a shock to all of us as she had just had 1 month prior in the hospital a good EKG . Of course we were unable to see her with visitor restrictions which just added to the shock of things.


We were told were happened, that it appeared she likely had passed for some time before being found. We were told the medics confirmed with an EKG that she had passed. My family felt that they would like a report/incident report of some kind just to have closure. Aside from a verbal description from multiple parties I have been unable to get such a thing. Is there a form which would have a step by step description of what happened or does such a thing not exist? Is it more typical to just get the phone calls, etc?
Everyone has been very polite and empathetic but my request for the report has not been responded to. I know it is a very challenging time but a document would have been comforting. Of course I did get the death certificate which of course is what the doctor concluded via the phone. (He did not return my call after she passed and the police department said that due to HIPA laws it is not something they simply send out.)


Any thoughts about this?

Thank you everyone for responding. I basically just wanted to ensure that I was not overlooking getting any sort of written incident report. However, it appears that such a document does not really exist. Naturally I have her death certificates and the verbal reports. I guess her clear EKG report from 3 weeks prior just kind of through me. She did have atherrosclerrotic disease and a history of strokes so I guess it could have been so many things. I am so happy that she passed peacefully so I guess I just have to make peace with the not knowing why part. The virus just kind of adds to the whole mystery of things. (She had no respiratory issues but I wonder if she might have had it and it indirectly caused other issues.) There were a few cases in the facility....
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Reply to caregivingstuff
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I would think there is a report at least saying that she was found and pronouced dead at a certain time for State purposes. There is no way that a CNA or even an RN can tell you what she died from. She may have had a stroke or heart attack in her sleep. If you needed answers, you could have had an autopsy at your expense. The only time you may not pay is if the Coroner finds foul play.

My Mom had Dementia. Otherwise she was healthy. Her death certificate says she died of heart failure. I guess that is true since when Dementia gets to the part of the brain where breathing and heart are controlled and dies, so does the person.

So sorry for your loss. Please except that Mom died peacefully. It happens. We had a 70 yr old friend who told his wife he wasn't feeling good and was going to go sit in his chair. When she went to check on him, he was gone. He had been to the doctor the week before, clean bill of health. Had just retired from a business he owned. Exercised, not a couch potato. But he died.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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I'm sorry for your loss. You've answered your question. Whatever the doc put on death certificate probably what AL will go by.

Of course doc won't return your calls, once he signs the DC, as far as he is concerned his job is done. You won't hear from AL again either (unless money is owed) once mom had left the building.
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Reply to shad250
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I am sorry for your loss.

May God grant you grieving mercies and comfort during this difficult time.

You have a right to the death certificate and that should list the cause of death. Call your vital records and ask how you obtain this document.
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Reply to Isthisrealyreal
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I there a cause of death listed on the certificate?
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Reply to HelloImMinsu
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It appears your mom passed peacefully in her sleep. What can the ALF possibly have to tell you besides what they've already said? Unless someone was with her to witness her passing, nobody would know the details. And even if someone WAS with her, there was likely nothing to witness.

My grandmother passed in her sleep in a nursing home. My brother in law passed in his sleep at 60 years old, with my sister right there and she heard or saw nothing unusual. Same with my uncle who lived in an ALF. When the staff came in one morning, he had passed.

Thank God it was quick and easy. I pray my 93 yo mother goes the exact same way, truthfully. I am very sorry for your loss. Sending you a big hug and a prayer for peace, dear one.
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Reply to lealonnie1
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First off, I am sorry for your loss. It's still very fresh, isn't it?

If no one was there to witness the actual passing, what would you expect them to say in a document? My grandmother passed away while the nurse in her NH was attending to the other occupant of the room. Simply slipped away. She thought gma was sleeping and left her be.

I think it was over an hour before they realized she was gone. Mother was called and she went to the NH. I don't think there was any kind of document other than the drs signed death certificate. Her passing was NOT unexpected, in fact, it was a great blessing to see her out of pain.

There was no step-by-step. The NH followed protocol, but all mother saw was the 'chart'.

Are you expecting, perhaps, a more detailed story about her death? Maybe you weren't prepared for her to go and a little guilt is seeping in? That would be normal.

Many, if not most people die 'alone'. I think sometimes they actually choose that, in a way. Dying is very, very personal.

I hope you can find some solace. At least she had a peaceful passing. Many don't get that.

((Hugs))
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Reply to Midkid58
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