What to do when the POA is not acting in the best interests and refuses to let the family see her?

POAs exist for financial and medical decisions. Denying access to friends or family is not part of a POA and is an entirely different problem. Particularly if he has mental health issues, you really have no way of knowing what your uncle has been saying to his mother to isolate her from family and justify his actions. With the Covid epidemic, elder abuse is being aggravated by enforced isolation and social distancing. The question for you is how far are you willing to go to address the problem? If you have reason to believe your grandmother is being isolated and/or mistreated, I would recommend consulting with an elder attorney. They will probably have a number of suggestions including calling the elder abuse hotlines, contacting the police for a welfare check, contacting her bank about possible fraud/financial abuse, and contacting Social Security about fraud/abuse. Keep in mind that guardianship/conservatorship is about the only way to overcome a POA if you’re grandmother has dementia and cannot make legal decisions for herself and that can be a costly option. That’s what we had to do.

We had this happen in our family. POA had mental health history and was restricting access to LO. POA is a bully who is never wrong and will not be held accountable for anything. Ever. Any attempt at accountability or if we would have insisted on seeing LO.... POA would have just made us wait longer. It was all about control. Out of fear of fueling the fire, we simply waited it out and eventually we would get to see LO. It was horrible that she pulled this stunt and made it all about herself. Of course, *if* POA decided she herself wanted us there, we were to cheerfully and promptly appear. No excuses. Awful situation.

I think Geaton has the answer. Just be patient. Anything through gov't services is going to be slow.

If you have any reason to believe he is physically neglecting/abusing her, make sure that is part of your complaint.

Having POA is a slippery slope. Often the POA person just jumps in and makes ALL the decisions and the person for whom they are POA are just...stuck.

My YB has POA for my mom and he wields it like a shield. He thinks he can control who comes and goes, but mother is not incompetent. She is not allowed to make decisions and waits until she asks YB for 'permission'.

HOWEVER--she is OK with this dynamic and so the rest of us sibs just gave up trying to help and let things be.

Come to think of it, the only reason I have to believe he's mother's POA is because he SAYS he is. I think I will be making a couple phone calls today!

Can you communicate with grandma even with uncle standing guard? I'd hate to think she's feeling neglected and not even knowing why.

I would start by contacting Adult Protective Services (APS) through her county's Dept of Health and Human Services. Definitely tell them about your uncle's mental health issues and that you are concerned about neglect and that she is a "vulnerable adult". Does your Grandma have dementia or a chronic illness? Do you know for a fact that your uncle has Power of Attorney (PoA) - medical and/or financial? I wish you all the best in advocating for her!