This is my first experience as a caregiver. We just started having a home health lady come in once a week so that I can keep up with my bowling league one morning a week. He is very upset with me when I come home, says hurtful things, but about 15 to 20 minutes later is asks me to forgive him. An hour or so later he has no recollection of saying hurtful things. I just want him to be happy and know that I am here for him. I know this is part of dementia and he doesn't really understand what he is saying. Lately when he tries to tell me something he can't get the words out and gets upset and says forget it, and says I don't know what's wrong with me. I have several questions, but I will just start out with this post for now. Has any one had this situation and if so how did you handle it? Thanks for any info.

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Is this your spouse?

They become quite scared to be alone but if he's accepting a caregiver while you're away that's a good thing

Have you been to a neurologist or other specialist ?
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Is he on meds to help with anger, depression and agitation?

As a caregiver, you HAVE to have some time off. That need will increase as the dementia progresses. He doesn't have to like or accept the fact that you're gone. But you have to accept that you need the time off, no matter his reaction.
Helpful Answer (3)

I have recently come to the same conclusion as Babalou states... I need time and space away from my Mom, even though she's mostly easy going and agreeable. I tell myself, it's OK if she's not having a great time with the caregiver, as long as she is safe. Luckily we have been paired up with a caregiver who Mom seems to really like spending time with, which has not always been the case. Perhaps you should try a few different caregivers?
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