My Dad has advanced Parkinson's with advanced dementia. He receives excellent 24/7 care in an adult foster home where he's lived for over 2 years. My Mom is his POA and is in a wheelchair and lives in independent living facility, and is starting to decline mentally but not to the point where we can really do anything about it unfortunately. She's trying to move Dad 900 miles away back to her home town where she lived 50 years ago to share a 1 bedroom apartment with him in a memory care facility that uses motion detectors in place of some caregivers. I'm trying to stop her by contacting an attorney and just now filing for guardianship of Dad, and I found out that Transfer Trauma is extremely dangerous for people like my Dad. In fact there's a federal law requiring nursing homes to have to prove extreme medical necessity, threat to health and safety or nursing home closure before they can move a patient to another facility because of the transfer trauma risk. My Mom has convinced her friends and even her therapist and social worker - they all support her moving Dad so they can "be together" despite the transfer trauma, huge step down in his level of care, not to mention the financial devastation this trip will cause her. She doesn't understand finances - I manage what little $ she and Dad have left. His care is paid for by LTC insurance. I am her POA.
Why does she not have to follow the same rules as the nursing homes when it comes to moving patients?
Have you talked to her support group and explained that she is not financially able to pull this off and hand them a printout of the danger to dad.
I am sorry that you are going through this. I hope it can be stopped before your dad is damaged.