The medical professional at the rehab center wants me to come in from out of town and sign a permit for mom to have her checked out for her behavior issues (of which have been going on for most of my life--just much worse with the declining physicial health). For years I've been dealing with a mom who was always hiding "her business" and refusing to let me take over (always feeling others including myself were out to get matter how hard you tried to prove that was not so). Now, she's in a pickle in a rehab center and can't walk and is fussing and refusing to do many things. She really does need help as she's declining rapidly. I want to seek guardianship soon more than likely (however I am a only child and out of town) but the medical community there has NOT wanted to declare incompetency and I've been told that I need that to go to court). I feel VERY uncomfortable signing this permit as all medical people on board including a state worker has said she is competent over and over in the past with me despite me having to pick up the scattered problems that she was leaving behind. This is a very grey area right now. Normally if mom was compliant with me and not so agitated and mad all the time I would probably not be so concerned. The medical professional did NOT say mom was incompetent during our phone conversation, just uncontrollable behavior...this all gets me caught in a mess where mom will take even more out on me. To sign or not to sign that is the thoughts are that the physician and social worker should decide on competency and let's just get the guardianship worked out so I'm not walking this tight rope period. I know I'm next of kin but this is so uncomfortable to me. BTW the elder law attorney will not be back in the office until monday :.(

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Are the folks at the rehab asking for your permission to send mom to an inpatient psychiatric facility for evaluation?

If your mother is mentally ill ( and it sounds like you are talking about a lifetime of paranoia) nothing is going to make mom see the love and care. You are simply going to have to do what's right for her in the long run. 

YOU are the responsible adult in the room.
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