**I sat down on his bed and it was wet, but made up. After that found wet two more time with bed made up.
** He does not get shaven on a regular basis, sometime even on bath days. I have gone on visits, dried shampooed hair and helped brush teeth.
**He cannot wear his loose fit 36" pants any longer. I've bought him 42elastice pull ups. My hubsnd's disease does not let him know when he is full. He will eat 24/7 if you let him. He has a diet given to the since his last kidney stone and they refuse to try to cut back on items as doctor recommended. Says he would not be able to eat anything on their menu. They have special diets for diabetic, etc., but do not for this guideline.
**Has been caught in other peoples rooms. Womans room fully clothed in shower running, etc.
Yesterday I was to leave because he said he was to take a walk and We are not allowed to walk halls with onlynin rooms now. He left. I opened door and he was across hall in persons room eating his snacks while the resident asleep on his bed (door proped open).
I have have brought up concerns immediately with staff and had meeting with head nurse and director.
SOME Issues seem to have gotton better (Have not found bed wet lately and shaven more often).
I have been told be the director of facility that in our last meeting of concerns again.
Her response of both meetings:
1. If she looked for something she would find it too. (Was not looking at first, happened to sit on wet bed).
2. She is not going to not give hime extra portions of food if he ask, or stop him from taking food from others.
I'm the only person to ever complain about someone gaining weight.
3. Although she said toothpaste dangerous in room due to might eat ( he has't done so in past not to say he would't). It was only 4 days ago I noticed it finally removed. (1/4 tube was used in 8weeks). Prior to that I used to prompt him to brush teeth.
And so forth.
My husband is not a complainer and always smiling (his personality).
I feel as though I am picky or asking too much sometimes, but if I don't who will?
I know staff working with him seem to be earnestly trying to help. Not so sure about director.
My friends have told me not.
Am I ?
Want only what is best for him.
Would rather have him home but cannot find anyone who knows how to help with his issues at home.
Have tried agencies and only send inexperienced people who know less than I do which is not good. They say can't find people to work.
Church and members are nonexistant for two years.
I would start looking around and ask questions. I went in my Moms room one time to find she had a #2 accident in bed. The aide had not stripped the bed. What she had dine was throw the comforter over the soiled sheet. I bet when that night shift aide put Mom to bed she would have been one mad aide because the day shift aide left her the mess. I thought about leaving it but didn't. I took everything home and washed it and took it back. I did inform one of the staff I trusted to tell someone what happened.
There are some things that are important, some you need to pick your battles.
Residents WILL walk into other rooms. They will take items. They will eat food that is left out. Doors will be left open for safety reasons. And doors can not or will not be locked for safety reasons and even a closed door will not stop someone from entering another room.
If you would rather have him at home you can learn how to care for him. You can train the "inexperienced" caregivers from an agency.
You can get equipment that will help you care for him. A Sit To Stand was a lifesaver for me. After that the move to the Hoyer Lift.
Learning how to change a bed with someone in it is pretty easy. Looks sloppy the first few times but after that I was as good as the CNA from Hospice. Same think with changing a tab brief in bed. Some did not loos so great but they did the job. I figured no one would ever see or comment and if they did I would be more than happy to let them try to do better!
Caring for someone at home is not easy.
You can look for smaller "Home" type care facilities if there are any in your area.
But if you do move him ..
Expect him to be confused for a while, he may decline
And do not expect the next place to be perfect.