Anyone have second thoughts about their choice of CCRC?
My dad is moving into an apartment at a CCRC very soon. He is very positive about the move. I have checked into the place and Dad has some friends there who are very happy and everything seems to check out o.k., but I'm starting to feel anxious. Dad, of course, wants to handle many of the meetings to see the realtor, sign papers, etc., but I am concerned that he is not understanding everything completely. The CCRC knows that I am involved and I even told them to call my Dad to get his permission to share things with me. This is all happening very fast and things are getting tense and uneasy because I feel the CCRC is not keeping me well informed and of course my Dad has forgotten about some things, etc. I have talked to several people on the "team" at the CCRC, in order to reinforce that there are a LOT of things going on right now and that this is a LOT for an older person to take in. Dad is getting cranky with them and me. In turn I am getting cranky with the CCRC. I feel that they should be MUCH better at dealing with elderly people and families with this huge life change. Is this how it usually happens? I am starting to feel suspicious about this place that seemed so great. In the beginning they were so helpful but now it seems that they're not. To add to this mess, I have found out that my only sibling (who has done nothing to help and says he won't help) is taking financial advantage of my father. I seem to be getting new information on this every time that I go to see my dad to help with all of the downsizing, etc. (I live out of town and my husband and I have gone every weekend to help.) I'm burning out fast from trying to do everything and I'm really worried that my dad doesn't understand it all. Do I get an attorney involved? I had one look over the contract for the CCRC (resident agreement) but all of these expenses for everything, i.e., fixing up the house, moving, etc. are really adding up. Any advice?