What is the outlook for stage 4 bladder cancer that has went to the bones?

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My husband was diagnosed with bladder cancer in January 2015. Is started as stage 2 and went to stage 4 in just about 1month. He is taking chemo now, the doctors are saying there is no hope or possible cure. I'm at my wits end, he tries to not let me see how scared he is, what can I expect or do?

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I'm so sorry. Both my Dad and my Mom have had bladder cancer. TG it was caught in time Both went thru the chemo directly to the bladder. What to expect should be discussed with his doctor. I would consider hospice but he will be taken off his chemo at that time. They will make him as comfortable as possible. Medicare pays for everything associated with hospice. I agree, this is a time to make sure all your legal ducks are in a row. He should have a living will and a DNR order in place. Prayers are with you.
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With my sister LN law who had cancer they reached a point where they were told that it didn't appear the chemo was working but would give 3 more treatments. She was sick with chemo side effects and exhausted. Then she finally signed up for hospice. Looking back, in my opinion, there was no real benefit to those last 3 treatments. The quality of her life was poor. Wish she had stopped treatment when they said it wasn't working and would have enjoyed more time with her family. She had about 2 weeks on hospice. I often think with the terminal situations I have experienced it is more about reading between the lines about what the doctors are saying. With my grandmom she was told she had no circulation in her foot and would need amputation. After 2 agonizing weeks, we called doctor and said grandma decided not to do anything. His response, good, you are doing the right thing! I hung up the phone and thought why the h*ll didn't he say that 2 weeks ago. I will keep you, your husband and family in my thoughts and prayers. You need to do what is best for you.
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Tammy, my heart goes out to you and to your family. This is indeed distressing news.

Bringing Hospice in may give you both some support. Are you doing that?

My good friend's husband has stage 4 cancer. He has completed his last round of chemo, which was intended to be palliative, not a cure. They've moved their bedroom down into the front parlor (it is a very old house) so he doesn't have to waste energy on the stairs. They got a great comfortable recliner for the living room where he watches tv. On good days he may go to a home maintenance store (his favorite hang out) or even out to lunch. Most days he is home bound with little energy.

They seem to be taking one day at a time, one hour at a time sometimes.

I know that they got their legal ducks in a row, updated wills, etc. early on. It made him feel that he was taking care of responsibilities. Perhaps other people would want to avoid that but it seemed good for him.

I am so sorry your are facing this. I hope others who have more personal experience with it will post.

Hugs to you all.
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