My mother is obsessing about probate. What exactly is probate?

MJ1929, I do have durable power of attorney. I can sell her house. Her house hasn’t been updated and let go so it’s probably only worth 100,000 instead of 200,000. She gambled all her savings account so all she has left is 30,000 in her checking account. She does have a will and I am executrix.

http://www.nycprobate.com/894.html

So much conflicting (and wrong) advice here.

Pay for an hour of a trust and estate attorney's time, and determine whether it's worth it to put her home in a trust or just deal with it through her will.

Also, you can't just sell her house to pay for her care if you don't have a durable power of attorney, so a lawyer will also make sure you have that in order as well.

Barbbrooklyn, you are absolutely right!!! I’m going to stay out of it and let her call.

Elaine; It sounds like, as usual, your mom is trying to suck you into her drama. (Sorry if that sounds cruel, but I think it's true).

If she wants to disinherit your brother, there is a way to do that legitimately in her will. She needs to call her lawyer.

If she wants to avoid probate and avoid having the estate pay for a probate attorney, she needs to set that up now. She needs to call her lawyer.

When she attempts to draw you into this drama, give her the lawyer's number and refuse further discussion.

It says in NEW YORK STATE a will needs to be probated if assets are more than 30,000. My mother is over that limit.

Are probate fees expensive?

Don't you all have to pay probate fees in America? Avoiding that is usually the main reason people try to avoid probate here in Canada.

Barbbrooklyn, she left my brother out of her will. But since I know this is WRONG, I am splitting my money with my brother.

I also know that if something happens to my mother that I will have to sell her house to pay for her care. I’m fine with that.

Barbbrooklyn, no, there is no reason for me not to call her lawyer. My mother seems to think if I sign HER will, then it won’t have to go through probate.

I just have been putting it off because the answer isn’t going to be what my mother wants to hear.

She left out my brother out of her will.

Your mother can avoid probate by creating a trust, but to my mind all this is silly. When she dies you will hire an attorney for advice, he will file the will in court, your will get letters testamentary, sell the home, and distribute the assets of her will as she has directed. It would be more trouble at this point to create the trust, then get the HOME and other assets INTO the Trust, and etc. Tell your mother, in order to relieve her mind, that this is a simple filing simply done. You could do it YOURSELF if you were a mind of. I am Trustee of my brother's trust and I still got a lawyer just to be certain I was do EVERYTHING correctly, and to create the short document called "Certification of Trust" to give bankers instead of the trust. Tell her you will be capable of this and it will be easy for you and she did the right thing and not to worry. And if, on the other hand, she merely wants to talk to her lawyer then let her, and let him or her advise your Mom going forward. I think what may be happening is your Mom is hearing stories about estates going through probate when there IS NO WILL. That can be costly as the court takes something to appoint an executor, and etc. She has a will. She is fine. There is a kind of good small short simple book out there called Please Don't Die! But if You DO, What Do I Do Next. It is by Kurt Grube and Keith Grube with John Nevola. Has some of the simpler answers in it.

Probate means that the terms of your mother's will will be made public. Is that what she is concerned about?

Then she should have a trust, if her estate is large enough to warrant one.

Is there a reason that you don't want to call her lawyer, on her dime, so to say?

We both live in Upstate New York. When my father died, she didn’t have to go through probate because he transferred everything into her name only. Is there a downside to going through probate?

What state does she live in?