Mom is running out of money at the memory care facility. Where do I go to get help to find a place for her to live?

I am currently dealing with the same situation myself. Mom had been in assisted living for approximately 8 years and her dementia has worsened and she doesn't have the help from other residents like she did previously because they all have passed. The ALF said she needed more care and should be in memory care, so we moved her about a year and a half ago, but she is now out of funds and can no longer private pay. We are in the process of applying for Medicaid and I am searching for a memory care that accepts Medicaid. It is not easy to find and the two I have visited so far are awful. When I say awful, I mean it looks, smells and acts like a government run nursing home, because basically that is what it is, only with locked doors. I don't like the fact that she can't take her own bed and the rooms look like a hospital room with a little curtain separating the two beds. The place that I felt was the better of the two has a waiting list of more than a year. Right now my only option is to move her to the bad one and hope that we eventually get called from the one with the waiting list.

It is stressful and I have been physically ill having to make these decisions for mom, but I have no other alternatives. So I guess my advice to you is for your mom to apply for Medicaid and start your search for a memory care that accepts it.

Good Luck.

Get a nursing assessment while in memory care..go tour a few nearby nursing homes & then she can be transferred. Contact elder law Atty to help you maneuver Medicaid nursing home application for a nursing home. If there’s any transfers then they will create a plan. Probably good to have Medicaid before getting to nursing home. Can’t expect others to worry about her as they don’t feel responsible. Hugs 🤗

Start with the social worker at facility, He/She can help mom (and you) with applying for Medicaid. Some places accept government funds and are required to have a certain number of places for people on Medicaid and/or Medicare.

Does the place where she is at, have a social worker who can help you? Have you contacted your state's Office on Aging to see if counsellors are available to help you?

Running out of money is one of my fears. My Mom never planned on living as long as she has. She has even said that to me. Thankfully she has excellent medical insurance for the rest of her life.

Urangfam: Your mother will have to file for Medicaid to be able to fund residence in a Skilled Nursing Facility. Perhaps you could begin with a local to your mother social worker. A social worker is your best resource in this instance.

im there just now.. i either want her to die or me to die to escape from it as family wont help

ive actually decided that i want to live but this old b***** is going to outlive me

Talk to social worker at the memory care about transfer to Nursing Home and application for Medicaid. Or talk to elder attorney who specializes in Medicaid applications.

Wondering if this would be of help?

https://www.payingforseniorcare.com/minnesota/medicaid-waivers/elderly-waiver

is she the widow or spouse of someone who served in the military during one of the wars? She might qualify for VA pension-aid and attendance.

Please call your county Dept on Aging, they may have info on resources or even ask your memory care admin or, if they have one, social worker.

The places that accept Medicaid are not ideal, but that may be her only option.

Hi Urangfam,
I've been searching online for facilities to visit that accept Medicaid for when our mom's money is gone because where she is now does not take Medicaid. Looking at ratings on multiple sites and Dept of Health records, most places have records being cited for care violations which are described (so you can see which places have more evident shortcomings), and also worker per patient numbers on the one site. Even the place where she is now has violations that aren't comforting, but she seems happy and well cared for so I keep in mind there will be no perfect place.

One family member told me that people are caring for loved ones at home because they don't have a choice, and I should post on forums to find out how it's done. I did and received absolutely NO positive feedback here, and I already knew having a dementia patient at home would be difficult and physically demanding.

Our mom even put our Alzheimer's grandmother in a skilled facility years ago because she would keep her up a night, and she couldn't get adequate rest. Our grandmother was easy and wasn't nasty ever like most dementia patients become at some point.

Wishing you the best with finding a place because we are having a time with this ourselves and visiting places as close as possible to home only if they will take Medicaid in the future.

Connect Medicare and with a local social worker and get her on Medicaid. The social worker or other care advisory services should be able to help her find an appropriate facility. All the best to you both.

Google care advisors… they are similar to a realtor.. find someone local. I have placed 3 times using a care advisor. These wonderful people know the area, openings, cost , your needs, amenities,… they are paid by the facility when placed. They will meet you for tours.

I used care patrol … it’s a franchise, maybe there is one in your area.. I can’t stress enough about getting someone local . With my mom in another state , while I was searching , the care advisor directed me to what looked like a motel 6 , converted. I can’t say for certain as the picture taken so far away was not clear. She obviously was just scrolling thru her list.

She might be elgible for medicade. Ask a social worker for help.

Medicaid pays for long term care when a senior is
1) financially in need and
2) medically at need

Just being 91 doesn’t qualify a person for LTC.

Here is a link regarding MN Medicaid.

https://mn.gov/dhs/people-we-serve/seniors/health-care/health-care-programs/programs-and-services/ma-nursing-home.jsp

This link may be helpful to see state ratings and inspections for facilities in you area.

https://www.medicare.gov/care-compare/?providerType=NursingHome&redirect=true

Work with the management at your Mom’s facility to help navigate the future. They have been through this before.

PS: to the OP, my mother was also running out of $$ to private pay in her Memory Care. I found her a lovely SNF that I was planning to move her into if/when that day came, as she had been there for rehab for 3 weeks and had gotten excellent care & attention there from a wonderful staff. Please ignore naysayers and people who are going to tell you horror stories about terrible SNFs; there is no point in doing such a thing. Of course there are terrible SNFs out there, just as there are terrible caregivers out there who leave their loved ones lying in their own filth in bed all day long. Bad people exist in all walks of life, unfortunately, not just in 'nursing homes.' Keep looking around until you find a SNF that you are comfortable with; they do exist! My aunt was in one, my step son works for one, and like I said, I had one lined up for my mom that was exceptional.

Apply her for Medicaid and place her in a nursing home that you like. If you have trouble doing that or if there are no openings in the nursing home, contact a state social worker and let the social worker know the situation and that your mother is going to need placement and is going to be at risk.

You have to apply for Medicaid to fund your mom's care in Skilled Nursing now that she's out of money. You should have done that a few months before she actually ran out of money, and found a Skilled Nursing Facility that you privately paid for, then Medicaid would kick in after the approval process was completed. If there is a social worker at the current Memory Care where your mom lives, speak to her about finding a new facility for her. My mother's Memory Care had no such social worker, it was all private pay customer's only. It was up to ME to find her a new place to live, and to apply for Medicaid to finance her stay there.

Look around/research some SNFs in your area that accept Medicaid, see if there is room for your mom, and if they will accept her. Hopefully you're not entirely out of money and can private pay for a while until her Medicaid application is approved. If so, she should gain access with more ease.

You can also consult a Certified Elder Care attorney for guidance on this whole process (Medicaid) in your state, and to find out what the requirements are, and if your mother meets them or not. The EC attorney may also be able to refer you to someone who can help you with the whole process.

Good luck!